Sheen Jokes

Yesterday actor Charlie Sheen's Mercedes was stolen and carelessly driven off a ravine. According to reports, the car thief didn’t want money, he just wanted to craft the perfect metaphor for Charlie Sheen’s career.

Sheen is being replaced by the Nigerian underwear bomber.

Dear Star Savior,

Hi. I'm actor Charlie Sheen. In some angry voice mail I sent my ex-wife Denise Richards in 2005, I used the N-word and the C-word. The message was leaked onto the Internet this week, and I'm catching a lot of heat for it. I have apologized for my choice of words, but I'm not sure that was enough. What should I do?


Dear Charlie,

I'm OK with you hitting your ex-wife with the N-word and C-word, but your voice mail is a sign of a problem: Technology is ruining racism and sexism.

It’s sad. There are people who have never used a slur face-to-face, the way the pioneers did it. Back then, showing hate was an event, something to plan a day around. But now, people like you just fire off some e-mail or voice mail, throw in a halfhearted slur or two, then go on with their lives. It's just another task on your to-do list: "Buy Batteries. Lunch Meeting. Hate."

But you can use your celebrity to help turn things around. more...

According to a TV Guide poll, Charlie Sheen is the highest paid actor on prime time televison--earning $825,000 per episode. This means LA call girls are now the highest paid prostitutes in the counrtry--earning over $1,000 per "episode."

Charlie Sheen's legal problems could deal a huge financial blow to the Sheen family, CBS, and LA call girls.