Sheep Jokes / Recent Jokes

A missionary gets sent into deepest darkest Africa and goes to live with a tribe therein. He spends years with the people, teaching them to read, write and the good Christian ways of the white man. One thing he particularly stresses is the evils of sexual sin. Thou must not commit adultery or fornication!

One day the wife of one of the Tribe's noblemen gives birth to a white child. The village is shocked and the chief is sent by his people to talk with the missionary.

'You have taught us of the evils of sexual sin, yet here a black woman gives birth to a white child. You are the only white man that has ever set foot in our village. It doesn't take a genius to work out what has been going on!'

The missionary replies:' No, no, my good man. You are mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence -- what is called an albino. Look to thy yonder field. See a field of white sheep, and yet amongst them is one black one. Nature does this on more...

Intelligence Test Instructions:Write each of your answers down, it makes a difference! You will be allowed 10 minutes to complete the test. Write your answers in the spaces provided. Are you ready? What is the time? Start.1) Some months have 30 days, some months have 31 days. How many months have 28 days? ____________________2) If a doctor gives you 3 pills and tells you to take one pill every half hour, how long would it be before all the pills had been taken? ____________________3) I went to bed at eight o'clock in the evening and wound up my clock and set the alarm to sound at nine o'clock in the morning. How many hours sleep would I get before being awoken by the alarm? ____________________4) Divide 30 by half and add ten. What do you get? ____________________5) A farmer had 17 sheep. All but 9 died. How many live sheep were left? ___________________6) If you had only one match and entered a COLD and DARK room, where there was an oil heater, an oil lamp and a candle, which would more...

Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and died brown. A few days later, as she was driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a flock of sheep pass. Admiring the cute woolly creatures, she said to the shepherd, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one?" The shepherd, always the gentleman replied, "Of course." The blonde thought for a moment and for no discernible reason said, "352." This being the correct number, the shepherd was, understandable, totally amazed and exclaimed, "You're right! O. K., I'll keep to my end of the deal. Take your pick of my flock." The blonde carefully considered the entire flock and finally picked one that was by far cuter and more playful than any of the others. When she was done, the shepherd turned to her and said, "O. K., now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your true hair color, can I have my dog back?"

Farmer Petrovich is whipping and slapping his sheep when the localminister comes walking around the corner.The minister says, "My, Farmer Petrovich, you're certainly giving thatsheep a beating. You wouldn't do that to your wife, would you?"The farmer says, "I would if she farted and jumped sideways every time I tried to mount her!

An old joke, so old I don't remember the source - sorry :)
There was this white missionary working in the jungles of Africa with a
local tribe there.
One day the wife of the tribe's chief got pregnant and eventually
gave birth. The Chief was utterly shocked when he found out that
the baby was a white boy. He was really confused so he decided to
pay a visit to the missionary.
"Father, my wife gave birth to a baby"
"Why, that's a very good news, Chief. Congrats"
"But Father, it is a white boy!?!?!?"
The missionary thinks for sometime and in a deep voice replies,
"Well Chief, sometimes nature does work in some strange ways...
The other day I was taking a stroll along the mountain side
and I saw this beautiful black sheep in a herd of white
sheep.."
The Chief looked very surprised and was silent for a moment
before he spoke,
"Okay Father, here's the deal. You tell no one, and more...

*Breaking News *
West Virginia farmers just found a new use for their sheep...

Wool

A man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. Stopping to rest, he tells the shepherd, "I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock."The shepherd thinks it over. It's a big flock, so he takes the bet. The man looks around and answers, "869." The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. The shepherd says, "Okay, I'm a man of my word, take an animal." The man picks one up and begins to walk away."Wait," cries the shepherd, "let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation." The man agrees."You are an accountant for the government," says the shepherd."Amazing!" responds the man. "You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you deduce that?""Well," says the shepherd, "put down my dog and I will tell you."