Shirt Jokes / Recent Jokes
A Polak saw a priest walking down the street. Noticing his collar, he stopped him and said, "Excuse me, but why are you wearing your shirt backwards?"The priest laughed, "Because, my son, I am a Father!"The Polak scratched his head. "But I am a father too, and I don't wear my shirt backwards!"Again the priest laughed. "But I am a Father of thousands!"To which the Polak replied, "Well then you should wear your shorts backwards!"
one day there was a man that was having severe headaches. when he went to the doctor the doctor had told him that the only way to get rid of this pain was by cutting of his balls. the man said was uneasy about it and didnt want to but then his head started hurting again so he cut them off. he was feeling so good after that that he went to buy himself a new shirt. as he walked into the door the clerk said " size 30"
the man said "how did you now?"
the clerk said "ive been doing this for 10 years, i know these things"
so the man bought the shirt. he was felling so happy about the shirt thatt he went to buy some socks.
again when he walked in the clerk said "size 12"
"how did you know?"
"ive been doing this for 20 years, i know these things"
the man felt so great about his new socks that he went to buy some boxers
when he walked in the clerk said "size 30"
"nope, size more...
In New York City last week a taxi clipped a red Beetle while veering across four lanes of traffic to pick-up a fare. The two drivers got out to examine the damage the cabbie a short man of Middle Eastern origin,
the Beetle driver a hulking giant.
As the cabbie approached, the Beetle driver grabbed him by the shirt and hoisted him off the ground. There, at eye level with the cabbie's feet dangling in the air, the Beetle owner began screaming, every third
sentence being, "This is your lucky day!"
Eventually, the cabbie was lowered back to terra firma, but, then, the Beetle guy asked, "Don't you want to know why this is your lucky day?"
He then proceeded to answer his own question:
"Because I'm on my way to anger management class and I don't dare show-up with blood on my shirt!"
The turbulence was vicious, and things went from bad to worse when a wing was struck by lightning. One woman in particular lost control. Screaming, she stood up in the front of the
plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wailed. Sobbing, she added, "And I'm going to die a virgin!" Then she yelled, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?" For a moment there was stunned silence. All the other passengers had forgotten their own peril, and were riveted by the sight of the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then a gorgeous man stood up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he said. Tall, well-built, with long, flowing black hair and jet-black eyes, he started to walk slowly up the aisle. As he did so, he began to unbutton his shirt one button at a time. No one moved. All eyes were on the man as he neared the woman, who more...
After a shower, the man grabbed his shirt that his wife hung on the back of the door. It fell into the trash can. After picking it up, he looked into the trash and saw nothing so he put the shirt on.
He went to college and walking along the corridor, he heard stiff laughs from everyone. After stopping in an open area, he looked around and saw nothing funny. When he started walking again, when PLOP, something behind him dropped to the floor.
It was his wife's bloody pad!
Apparently it had been in the trashcan when the shirt fell in and stuck to the back.
A retired gentleman went into the social security office to apply for Social Security benefits. After waiting in line a long time, he finally arrived at the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his drivers license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry, but he seemed to have left his wallet at home.' Will I have to go home and come back now?' he asks. The woman says,' Unbutton your shirt.' So he opens his shirt revealing lots of curly silver hair. She says,' That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me,' and she processed his Social Security application. When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the Social Security office. His wife says,' You should have dropped your pants, you might have qualified for disability, too.'
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