Shoe Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Iraqi journalist who threw a shoe at former President George W. Bush will be released early for good behavior.
However, this has lead to serious questions about the timing of the release. Such as, why didn't this happen sooner?
Two Arabs boarded a flight out of London. One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, an American sat down in the aisle seat. After takeoff, the American kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said,"I need to get up and get a beer."
"Don't get up," said the American, "I'm in the aisle seat. I'll get it for you".
As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked up the American's shoe and spat in it. When he returned with the beer, the other Arab said, "That looks good, I'd really like one, too." Again, the American obligingly went to fetch it. While he was gone the other Arab picked up his other shoe and spat in it too. When the American returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. As the plane was landing, the American slipped his feet into his shoes and realized immediately what had happened. "Why does it have to be this more...
A cowboy entered a barber shop, sat on the barber's chair and said, "I'll have a shave and a shoe shine."
The barber began to lather his face while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes.
"Young lady," the cowboy said, "you and I should go and spend some time in a hotel room."
"I'm married and my husband wouldn't like that at all," she replied.
"No problem," the cowboy said, "just tell him you're working overtime and I'll pay you the difference."
"You tell him," she said. "He's the one shaving you."
A Jewish man sits next to two Arab men on a flight from New York to Miami. The Jewish man kicks off his shoes. Meanwhile, one of the Arabs says he would like a coke. Since he was by the aisle, the Jewish man says, "I'll get it for you," and goes off in his stockinged feet. While he was gone, one of the Arab men spit into the Jewish fellow's left shoe. Later, the other Arab man says that he too would like a coke, and the Jewish man goes off to fetch it. This time, his right shoe gets spitted into.
As the flight was ending, the Jewsih man slid his shoes back on and through his socks, he felt the squishiness. He immediately figured out what had happened and exclaimed, "When will it end!!?? When will all this enmity cease, the hatred, the anger, the spitting in shoes and the pishing in coca cola!!??"
A Guy is driving his girlfriend home when she decides she wants to go to her friends instead. Her friend lives out of the way so she tells her boyfriend that she would get naked for him if he drove her. The guy says ok and the girl takes off all her clothes. The boyfriend is so busy looking at her that he stacks the car and gets stuck between the steering wheel and the seat. He tells her to go get help and she replied that she couldn't because she didn't have any clothes on. He replies, "Take my shoe and cover yourself with it, and go for help!"She takes the shoe and runs to the closest gas station. She finds the clerk and says, "Help, my boyfriend is stuck! Can you help us?" The clerk replies, "I'm sorry, I think he's too far in."
one evening a leg was eating a mongoose when a armadilo decided to piss on the mongoose. after long hours of careful anticipation he pissed off and kicked a shoe.the shoe said arnt you a bastad and the leg replied eye i know i am and the moral of the story is if you a leg and you kick shoes and piss on mongooses you are a bastad and you are scotish!