Shoe Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man lost two buttons from his shirt and put them in his pants pocket. But the pocket had a hole, so the buttons fell into his shoe.
Unfortunately, the shoe sole also had a hole, so he lost the buttons. Since pockets with holes, holes without buttons, and shoe soles with holes are useless, the man ripped the buttonholes out of his shirt and the pocket from his pants and tossed them in the trash along with the soles of his shoes. After looking in a mirror at the holes in his clothing, he decided to toss his clothes in the trash as well.
A policeman observed all this and asked the man for identification. The man produced a document that he was an ordained minister of the gospel. So, of course, the policeman promptly escorted him to a mental institution.
The minister protested violently, asking why he was receiving such unjust treatment.
"Look, it's the best place for you now," the policeman replied, "Anyone claiming to be a preacher, but who doesn't save more...
I guy walks into a bar and say can i see someones shoe so an old man walks up and gives him his shoe the guy looks into the shoe and starts to speak and says i see!!! "with a long pause" a line with you in running after your shoe.and the guy threw the old guys shoe out the door.
A little Jewish boy badly needed a new pair of shoes, but his mother was very busy, so she gave him some money and told him to go to Mr. Goldberg's shoe store down the road and buy himself a pair of shoes. "But remember" she impressed on him "you must bargain, whatever price they give, you offer them half"
So off went the little boy to the shoe store, he chose a nice pair of shoes which fitted him well and asked the price. Mr. Goldberg said " The usual price is $ 12 but for you we will make it $ 10" "No way" said the little boy " $ 5 is all they are worth " Mr. Goldberg at first protested that the shoes cost him more than that, but in the end he agreed to sell the shoes for $ 5. The little boy then said " they may be worth $ 5 but all I will pay is $ 2.50 " By then Mr. Goldberg was fed up with the whole discussion and said " You know what, sonny, as you are such a bright kid, you can have the pair of shoes for more...
A man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the sales clerk.
"Well... they feel a bit tight." replies the man.
The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the mans feet. "Try pulling the tongue out" offers the clerk.
"Nath theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth." He says.
A man and his son walk into a shoe store when the sales man asks, "How can I help you?" The man says he has a dinner to go to and is looking for the right type of shoes. The salesman asks if he is looking for dress shoes, the little boy pipes up and says," but my dad doesn`t wear dresses."
A man and his wife were cleaning out their attic when the man found a shoe repair stub in the pocket of an old jacket. "Hey - check this out," he said to his wife, "this stub is 20 years old. I wonder if the shop still has the shoes."
So the next day the man went to the shoe shop and asked the owner if he still had the shoes. The owner disappeared into the back of the shop for about five minutes.
When he returned, he replied happily, "Yup, believe it or not, we've still got the shoes. They'll be ready next Thursday."