Shoe Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two shoe salespeople were sent to Africa to open up new markets. Three days after arriving, one salesperson called the office and said, "I'm returning on the next flight. Can't sell shoes here. Everybody goes barefoot." At the same time the other salesperson sent an email to the factory, telling "The prospects are unlimited. Nobody wears shoes here!"

We have all been through job interviews, and we have spent most of the time thinking of what not to do that might make us look bad. Some job applicants however go light years beyond this. What follows is a survey of top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations who were asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants. What follows is an unbelievable list of what we can only call "the lowlights." 1. Said he was so well qualified that if he didn't get the job, it would show that the company's management was incompetent. 2. Stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application. 3. Brought her large dog to the interview. 4. Chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles. 5. Candidate kept giggling through a serious interview. 6. She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time. 7. Bald candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned a few minutes later wearing a hairpiece. 8. Applicant challenged interviewer to arm wrestle. more...

A guy takes a 2 year old repair claim ticket to the shoe repair shop to get his shoes. The Shoemaker said sorry won't be ready till next Tuesday!

Two doctors had boarded a flight out of Boston, one taking the window seat and the other, the middle seat. Just prior to take off, an attorney boarded and took the aisle seat next to them.
The attorney kicked off his shoes and had no sooner settled in, when the doctor in the window seat decided he would get up and get himself a coke. The attorney said, "No problem, I'll get it for you."
While he was gone, one of the doctors picked up his shoe and spat in it.
When he returned with the first doctor's coke, the other doctor decided that it looked so good, he would like one too.
The attorney said he would go and get one for him. While he was gone this time, the other doctor picked up the other shoe and spat in it.
When the attorney returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the remainder of the flight. As the plane was landing, the attorney slipped his shoes on and knew immediately what had happened.
"How long is this going to continue?" he asked. more...

We have all been through job interviews, and we have spent most of the time thinking of what not to do that might make us look bad. Some job applicants however go light years beyond this.What follows is a survey of top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations who were asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants. What follows is an unbelievable list of what we can only call "the lowlights."1. Said he was so well qualified that if he didn't get the job, it would show that the company's management was incompetent.2. Stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application.3. Brought her large dog to the interview.4. Chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles.5. Candidate kept giggling through a serious interview.6. She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time.7. Bald candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned a few minutes later wearing a hairpiece.8. Applicant challenged interviewer to arm wrestle.9. Asked more...

They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about. For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife’s bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $25, 000. He asked her about the contents.
“When we were to be married, ” she said, “my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll. ”
The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two more...

“Hey, bartender, ” says a customer, sitting at the bar. “What kind of bird is that sitting on the perch? ”
“Oh, ” says Bob the bartender, “that’s a Crunchy Bird! ”
“I never heard of a Crunchy Bird, ” says the patron.
“Just watch, ” says Bob. He takes a newspaper off the bar and throws it down on the floor, then he turns to the bird and says, “Crunchy Bird, my paper! ” The bird swoops down and attacks the newspaper. He rips it to shreds until there’s nothing left but tiny pieces of confetti.
“Wow, ” says the customer, “can I try? ”
“Be my guest, ” the bartender replies.
The customer takes off his shoe and puts it on the bar and says, “Crunchy Bird, my shoe! ” The bird flies down off the perch and picks the shoe up with his beak. He slams the shoe down on the bar and starts attacking it. In no time, the shoe is reduced to nothing but a few pieces of leather and a shoelace. Then the bird flies back to his perch more...