Shopping Jokes / Recent Jokes

Christmas was coming near and it was time for Little Johnny to finish his holiday shopping. He went into a toy shop, took a toy plane, gave the shopkeeper fake money and started to leave.
The shopkeeper spoke up, "Excuse me little boy, this isn't real money."
Little Johnny didn't reply and continued walking.
The shopkeeper repeated himself, but Johnny kept walking.
The third time the shopkeeper called him, Johnny replied, "What?"
The shopkeeper said, "I'm sorry, young man, but this is not real money."
Johnny looked at the plane in his hands, looked at the shopkeeper and finally said, "And this isn't a real plane."

A "Husband Shopping Center" was opened where a woman could go to choose from among many men to be her husband. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended up the floors.
The only rule was that once you opened the door to any floor, you must choose a man from that floor, and if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place.
So, a couple of girlfriends go to the place to find men.
First floor, the door had a sign saying: "These men have jobs and love kids."
The women read the sign and say: "Well that's better than not having jobs, or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?"
So up they go. Second floor says: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking."
"Hmmm," say the girls, "But, I wonder what's further up?"
Third floor: "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good more...

...a federal judge said Mattel, Wal-Mart, and others can be sued for making and selling toys with high lead levels. Some of the toys affected are Leadgo building blocks, Lead Headed Barbie, and Leadopoly.

An extremely flat-chested woman decided she needed a bra, so she set out to the shopping mall in search of one in her size.
Her first stop was at an upscale department store, where she approached the saleslady in lingerie and asked, "Do you have a size 28AAAA bra?"
The clerk haughtily replied in the negative, so she left the store and proceeded to another department store where she was rebuffed in much the same manner.
After trying a third department store in the mall, she had become disgusted. Leaving the mall, she drove over to Walmart.
Stomping up to the sales clerk, she unbuttoned her blouse, threw it open and yelled, "Do you have anything for this?"
The clerk looked closely at her and replied, "Have you tried Clearasil?"

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the defendant, "What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early sir", replied the defendant." Well that's not an crime", said the judge! "How early were you doing this shopping?" "Before the store opened", answered the prisoner.

I was in Target the other day, shopping with a young lady friend. We were walking past the furniture section where there were several different models of bar stools on display. Next to them there was a sign that read: "All models in stock now!"
So I paused next to the display and said, "Do you know what these are?"
"What?" she asked.
I said, "Stool samples."

A husband shopping center (Husband Mart) has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is comprised of six floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: ‘Floor 1 - These men have jobs.'The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes.The second floor sign reads: ‘Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.'
The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again.The third floor r sign reads: ‘Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good more...