Shore Jokes / Recent Jokes

He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life - that is, until the ship sank. He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing; only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he asks, “Where did you come from? How did you get here? ”
She replies, “I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here when my cruise ship sank. ”
“Amazing, ” he notes. “You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you. ”
“Oh, this thing? ” explains the woman. “I made the boat out of raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree. ”
“But, where did you get the tools? ”
“Oh, that was no problem, ” replied the woman. “On the south side more...

a little boy was ridding his bike when an officer on a horse stopped him.
the officer asked:
"
little bot did santa give that bike?"
the liitle boy looked up at him and smiled,
"
He shore did!"
the boy answerd.
The officer wrote him a ticket and sayed
"
Next time tell santa to put reflectors on it."
the little boy sayed,
"
mister did sant give you that horse?"
"
he shore did."
the officer replied
the boy grinned and sayed
"
next time tell santa to put the dick under the horse instead of on top!"

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,

'Are there any gators around here?'

'Naw,' the man hollered back,' they ain't been around for years!' Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy,' How'd you get rid of the gators?'

'We didn't do nothin',' the beachcomber said.' Really?' said the tourist. The beachcomber added,' The sharks got' em.'

Last winter, while sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. The guy could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft.
Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, “Are there any gators around here?! ”
“Naw, ” the man hollered back, “they ain’t been around for years! ”
“Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy, “How did you get rid of the gators? ”
“We didn’t do nothin’, ” the beachcomber said. “The sharks got ‘em. ”

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when
they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship
that had harpooned his father many years earlier.
He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of
our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and
sink."
They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon
however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were
swimming to the safety of shore.
The male was enraged that they were going to get away and said to the
female, "lets swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the
shore." At this point, the male whale realized the female was becoming
reluctant to follow him.
"What's the matter darling?"
"Look," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse
to swallow the more...

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they
noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had
harpooned his father many years earlier.
He said to the female whale, "Let's both swim under the ship and blow out of our
air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink."
They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.
Soon, however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were
swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to
get away and said to the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up
before they reach the shore."
At this point, he realized that the female was becoming reluctant to follow him.
"Look," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to
swallow the seamen."

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.
He said to the female whale, "Let's both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink." They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.
Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female "lets swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore."
At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen!"