Shotgun Jokes / Recent Jokes

A young salesman was out on business when one night he had to stop at a farm. The only room available was with the farmers pretty daughter. The farmer having heard this kind of joke before asked his faithful farm hand Hans to wait outside the door with a shotgun and if he heard any hanky panky shoot the stranger.

The next morning the sales man lift a bit quickly and the farmer proud of his quick thinking said to his daughter' So, that city fella didn't try any thing with you?'

'Oh no' said the girl' Hans just gave me his shotgun, put on my nightie and told me to wait in the corridor and make sure the guy couldn't escape' ti morning!'

The following story was reported some years ago in the Las Vegas Sun:

A man approached the cashiers' cage at Binion's Horseshoe in downtown Las Vegas, pulled a shotgun and was given an amount of cash. (Note that casino cages are located at the rear of the casino to discourage such activities.)

The man tucked his shotgun under a trench coat and started to walk casually out of the casino. He was immediately surrounded by casino guards who walked with him so as not to cause a scene.

Evaluating his situation, the man entered the casino and sat down at a card game in progress. He remained seated there for several hands, still surrounded by security personnel. The game continued uninterrupted.

Finally, perhaps with the thought of creating escape-aiding confusion, the man upended the table sending cards and chips flying. He was immediately set upon by the card players who had to be restrained by the security guards from killing the more...

This guy wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in his tree. He looks in the phone book for a gorilla removal service until he finds one. "Is it a boy or girl Gorilla?" the service guy asks. "Boy," is the man's response. "Oh yeah, I can do it. I'll be right there," says the service guy. An hour later the service guy shows up with a stick, a Chihuahua, a shotgun, and a pair of handcuffs. He then gives the man some nstructions: "Now, I'm going to climb this tree and poke the gorilla with the stick until he falls. When he does, the trained Chihuahua will bite the gorilla's testicles off. The gorilla will then cross his hands to protect himself and allow you to put the handcuffs on him." The man asks, "What do I do with the shotgun?" The service guy replies, "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the Chihuahua."

This guy wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in his tree. He looks in the phone book for a gorilla removal service until he finds one.
"Is it a boy or girl gorilla?" the service guy asks.
"Boy," is the man's response.
"Oh yeah, I can do it. I'll be right there", says the service guy. An hour later the guy shows up with a stick, a Chihuahua, a shotgun, and a pair of handcuffs. He then gives the man some instructions: "Now, I'm going to climb this tree and poke the gorilla with the stick until he falls. When he does, the trained Chihuahua will bite the gorilla's testicles off. The gorilla will then cross his hands to protect himself and allow you to put the handcuffs on."
The man asks, "What do I do with the shotgun?"
The service guy replies, "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the Chihuahua."

Trucker hauling computers and accessories is driving down the highway late one night when he sees a truck stop on the side of the road. So he decides to pull over. On aproaching the door he read s a sign: "NO NERDS." He shrugs it off and enters. He`s greeted by the end of a shotgun barrel in his face. "Are you a nerd?" the bartender asks.

"No, I`m a truck driver," he replies. He`s allowed to come in, so he orders a cup of coffee, sits at the bar and drinks it.

While he drinks his coffee, a man walks in wearing his pants up to his chest, a plaid shirt, pocket protector and thick-framed glass. The bartender pulls out his shotgun and blows him away.

"What the hell did you do that for!?" asks the trucker.

"Well," the bartender answers, "it`s nerd season."

"Nerd season?" asks the trucker, confused.

"Yeah. See, the nerd population in this town is more...

This bloke wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in atree in his garden.He looks in the phone book for a gorilla removal service until he finds one.
''Is it a boy gorilla or a girl gorilla?'' the service bloke asks.
''Boy gorilla'', replies the man.
''Righto'', says the service bloke. ''I'll be round in a jiffy.'' An hour later the service bloke shows up with a stick, a Pit Bull Terrier, a shotgun and a pair of handcuffs.
''Right'' he says to the man.'' I'm going to climb the tree and poke the gorilla with the stick until he falls.When he does, this highly trained Pit Bull will tear the gorilla's balls off. When the gorilla crosses his hands over his crotch to protect himself, you slip the handcuffs on,''
''OK,'' says the man, ''but what's the shotgun for?''
''I'm glad you asked that,'' says the service bloke. '' If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla does, then blow the dog's brains out

As he was quietly watching television at home, the chap heard a sound on the roof of his house and rushed out to investigate. Seeing it was a fair-sized gorilla tearing the shingles off his home, he promptly called up the local zoo authorities to inform them one of their animals had escaped. He was reassured that a gorilla recovering units was on the way and to remain calm.
A few minutes later, an old beat up truck, displaying the Gorilla recovery unit logo on its panels, pulled up to the house. The elderly driver proceeds to recover from the back of the truck, a chiwawa dog, a pair of handcuffs, a ladder, a baseball bat, and a 12-gauge shotgun. Puzzled on how this lone elderly was to solve the problem of this gorilla that had by now torn half the roof apart, the chap asked him how he would go about doing this. As he handed him over the 12-gauge shotgun, the zoo employee explained the plan:
"First I'll climb up there with the ladder. Then I'll approach the gorilla and more...