Shoulder Jokes / Recent Jokes

Frank was excited about his new rifle. So, he went bear hunting. He spotted a small brown bear and shot it. There was then a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear.The black bear said: "You've got two choices.I either maul you to death or we have rough sex."Frank decided to bend over. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip where he found the black bear and shot it.There was another tap on his shoulder.This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly says: "That was a huge mistake, Frank. You've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have REALLY rough sex."Again, Frank thought it was better to comply. Although he survived, it would take several months before Frank finally recovered. Outraged he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the grizzly and shot it.He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned more...

Two college basketball players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the big game the following week. The exam was fill-in-the-blank. The last question read, “Old MacDonald had a ________. ”Bubba was stumped. He had no idea what to answer. But he knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed. Making sure the professor wasn’t watching, he tapped Tiny on the shoulder. “Pssst. Tiny. What’s the answer to the last question? ”Tiny laughed. He looked around to make sure the professor hadn’t noticed then he turned to Bubba.
“Bubba, you’re so stupid. Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a FARM. ”"Oh yeah, ” said Bubba. “I remember now. ”He picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. He stopped. Tapping Tiny’s shoulder again, he whispered, “Tiny, how do you spell farm? ”"You are really dumb, Bubba. That’s so easy. Farm is spelled more...

A fellow walks into a bar with a ten-inch, scowling man on his shoulder. He orders a drink. The little man jumps off the shoulder, drinks a third of the drink and climbs back up. The fellow then orders a sandwich. The little man likewise devours a third of the sandwich. After this goes on for two more drinks, the bartender says, "Hey buddy, I don't usually pry into customers' private affairs, but what the heck is it with that little guy?" The customer replies, "Well, I found a bottle on the beach. When I uncorked it, out popped a genie. He gave me one wish. I asked for a 10-inch prick, and the genie shrunk my lawyer!"

A guy is sitting in a bar next to a really ugly woman. She has a parrot on her shoulder. Woman says: If you can tell me what kind of animal I haveon my shoulder... I'll sleep with you." Guy says: "An alligator?" Woman says: "Close enough"

Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!
Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.
Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.

Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads? A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno! Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.Q: How do blondes pierce their ears? A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.

To cut off a blonde's ears, put razor blades on each shoulder and ask the blond a question.
Automatically the blonde will shake her head from shoulder to shoulder saying "I don't know."