Shouted Jokes / Recent Jokes

Paddy was in New York He was patiently waiting, and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, "Okay pedestrians". Then he'd allow the traffic to pass. He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk. After the cop had shouted "Pedestrians" for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, "Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?"

A judge asked a defendant to please stand. "You are charged with murdering a school teacher with a chain saw."
From out in the audience a man shouted, "Lying bastard!"
"Silence in the court!", the judge shouted back to the man.
He turned to the defendant and said, "You are also charged with killing a paperboy with a shovel."
"Tightwad!", blurted the man again.
"Quiet!", yelled the judge who continued, "You are also charged with killing a mailman with an electric drill."
"Son of a..."
The man started to shout when the judge thundered back, "If you don't tell me reason for your outbursts right now, I will hold in contempt!"
So the man answered, "I've lived next to that man for ten years now, but do you think he ever had a tool when I needed to borrow one!"

On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher.
The florist’s son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said, “I bet I know what it is? it’s some flowers! ”
“That’s right! ” shouted the little boy.
Then the candy storeowner’s daughter handed the teacher a gift. She held it up, shook it and said “I bet I know what it is? it’s a box of candy! ”
“That’s right! ” shouted the little girl.
The next gift was from the liquor storeowner’s son. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it.
“Is it wine? ” she asked.
“No, ” the boy answered. The teacher touched another drop to her tongue.
“Is it champagne? ” she asked.
“No, ” the boy answered.
”What is it? ”
“A puppy! ”

During the Japanese Occupation, 3 Singaporeans, Ah Meng, Ah Seng and Ah Beng were caught for smuggling. They were sentenced to death by firing squad. That night, Ah Meng came up with a plan. He told the others that the Japanese were afraid of natural disasters. So he would cause them to panic, and escape in the confusion. The next morning, Ah Meng was led to the wall. The firing squad was lined up and the Captain commanded, "Ready.. Aim..", but before he could complete, Ah Meng shouted, " Earthquake!! Earthquake!" The Japanese soldiers panicked and Ah Meng made his escape. Later, the soldiers took Ah Seng out and the firing squad were ready. The captain commanded, "Ready... Aim..." This time Ah Seng shouted. " Flood! Flood!!" Again, the Japanese soldiers panicked and this time, Ah Seng made his escape. Observing all this, Ah Beng began to get the idea. "It's important to get the timing right." Soon, it was Ah Beng's turn. "Timing, more...

When the Mississippian arrived home he found his house on fire. He ran next door, called the fire department and shouted, "Hurry on over here. My house is on fire."
"Ok," the fireman replied. "How do we get there?"
"Well shucks," shouted the Mississippian. "Ain't you still got them thar big red trucks?"

3 POWs were caught by the Germans in a war. They were told that they will be shot at while they ran 100 meters. If they survived after that they would then be set free. So, the 3, a British, a Japanese & a Singaporean, lined up at the start. Bang! They started to ran like they never did before. At the 80 meter mark, the British was shot down. Before he went down, he patriotically shouted,' Long live the Queen' and died. At 90 meters, the Japanese was shot. Before he went down, he shouted,' Banzai' and died. Now the Singaporean was at 93m, 95m, 98m, 99m.... .. Bang! He, too, was shot down. Before he died, he shouted,' KAYU LAH!!' One meter also no discount!'

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank.
Lying nearby were several more of the more...