Shower Jokes / Recent Jokes

SUBJECT: Soap Saga
Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a
London hotel's staff and one of its guests. The London hotel
involved submitted this to the Sunday Times. No name was mentioned.
WHAT TO DO WITH ALL THOSE "FREE" SOAPS WHEN TRAVELLING
Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my
bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove
the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest
and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way. Thank
you,
S. Berman
Dear Room 635,
I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday,
from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap
dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your
way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should
change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which more...

In a 4 story building there lived 4 people:
On the 1st floor lived a cop
On the 2nd floor lived a thief
On the 3rd floor lived a blind man
On the 4th floor lived a very clean woman that took alot of showers.
One day the woman on the 4th floor got into the shower. She heard a knock on the door. "Who is it?" she asked, "It's the cop".
So the woman pur her robe on and went to open the door. "Wish me Mazel Tov!" said the cop. The woman asked him why, and he said: "Because I caught all the thiefs except one!". She says Mazel Tov and goes back to the shower.
She heard another knock on the door. "Who is it?" she asked, "It's the thief". So the woman pur her robe on and went to open the door. "Wish me Mazel Tov!" said the thief. The woman asked him why, and he said: "Because the cop caught all the thiefs exept me!". She says Mazel Tov and goes back to the shower.
Another knock was more...

There were 2 gays in a shower. They were doing it and then the door bell rang.
Steve: That's the door, I gotta go answer it.
Rob: Okay honey, jus don't keep me waitin!
Steve: Okay, I will be right back. Don't cum until I get back.
Rob: Okay sexy!
Steve goes to answer the door and noones there. So he walks back to shower, and to his disappoinentment there is cum all over one side of the bathroom.
Steve: I told you not to cum!
Rob: I didn't. I farted.

A man and wife were taking a shower when the doorbell rang. The wife says, "I'll get it" and wraps a towel around her. She opens the door and sees that it's her nextdoor neighbor. The neighbor notices that she's in her towel and says, "Damn your fine! I'll give you $500 right now if you'll open your towel and let me get a good look at that beautiful body of yours" She says, "$500? Right now?" He says, "Yeah right now." She agrees and opens her towel and lets him get a real good look. He hands her the $500 and goes back home. She gets back in the shower and her husband asks who was at the door and she says that it was the nextdoor neighbor. He said, "Cool! Did he have my 500 bucks?"

a boy walks in on his mum in the shower, he looks at her croch and asks whats that and she replies thats my garage.later the boy walks in on his dad in the shower, he looks at his dads croch and asks what that to which his dad replies thats my car. the next day the boy walks in on his mum and dad in she shower together having sex and the boy asks"daddy, whats your car doing in mummys garage"?

Washing Your CatSome people have the misconception that cats never have to be bathed. That somehow they "lick" themselves clean. Well contrary to this popular belief, cats do NOT have some enzyme in their saliva that resembles Tide (with or without bleach).Cats, like their nemesis, the dog, do get dirty and have a variety of odors, from smelling like the outhouse where you camped last year to the same odor as your dog`s breath. (Remember, your dog will try to eat anything.) Now we all know that cats HATE water. And we know that giving the cat a sedative to ease this process of a bath is out of the question.So, the best approach is both sneaky and direct. Remember now, this is not the dumb dog who can be led to tub with lies and a trail of Kibbles and Bits.Although your cat has the advantage of smarts, quickness and total lack of concern for you, you have the advantage of size, strength, and the ability to wear protective garments.1. First, dress for the occasion. A 4-ply more...

- Old world charm means room with no TV, radio and only 1 light.
- Tropical means rainy.
- Majestic setting means a long way from town, at end of dirt road.
- Options galore means nothing is included in the price.
- Secluded hideaway means directions to locate unclear.
- Some budget rooms means sorry, already occupied.
- Explore on your own means at your own expense.
- Minutes from... means by plane.
- Romantic means no phone in room.
- Knowledgeable trip hosts. .. They've flown in an airplane before.
- No extra fees means no extras available.
- Bird Watchers Paradise means your car's paint will never be the same.
- Nominal fee means outrageous charge.
- Standard means sub-standard.
- Deluxe means barely standard.
- Superior accommodations means one complimentary chocolate, free shower cap.
- All the amenities means two chocolates, two shower caps.
- Just Like Home means no maid service.
- Plush more...