Shrink Jokes / Recent Jokes
How To Drive Them Crazy!
Here are some ideas to drive men/women crazy. Now, this is only a joke, so don't try this at home!!; -)
To make the MEN crazy:
1. Take the batteries out of all the remotes in the house. (Hide them well.)
2. Organize his workshop, bedroom, or other special place.
3. Bribe his faithful dog away from him with a steady diet of Ring Dings.
4. Shrink his underwear in the dryer and when he complains, innocently suggest that he's gained a few pounds.
5. Stare at his forehead and when he notices, casually ask if there is any history of male pattern baldness on his mother's side.
6.' Accidentally' fill the gas tank of his new Porsche with diesel.
7. Repeatedly misplace the cordless phone, preferably in a different room each time.
8. Repeatedly lose his cellular phone in restaurants around town.
9. Loan his precious cellular phone to a pregnant more...
Greetings everyone from Nassau! Not county, silly geese, the island in the Bahamas! This is a special island, because you can get rum cheap AND you can get bored in under 2 minutes!
But wait, it’s hot! Really hot! Like space-shuttle-with-faulty-panels hot.
Maybe Mr. Black-as-a-Bob-Marley-album taxi driver can give you a ride to a beach for $6/person which is walking distance away?! “It’s a deal mon!" Just for you and da famil-ee! I show you da sites! The aqua colored water, the palm trees, the big pink hotel! Ooooooooooo!!!! Holy shit mon!! Statue of Liberty who? Empire State Building wha?? You guys have a casino? Wow!!! Hey mon, you got yet them crazy inventions down here on da island known as air conditioning or deodorant?
Luckily you can get souvenirs! These islands specialize in t-shirts, 25 for $10, hmmmm, is that a scam? I dunno. They’re not gonna shrink are they? “Oh nooooo mon! Dey won't shrink.” Please, I bought one once. An XL. I got back to my more...
A man walks into the psychiatrist's office with a pancake on his head, fried eggs on each shoulder, and a strip of bacon over each ear.
The shrink, humoring him, asks, "What seems to be the problem?"
The guy answers, "Doc, I'm worried about my brother."