"Lenny Hates... The Bahamas" joke

Greetings everyone from Nassau! Not county, silly geese, the island in the Bahamas! This is a special island, because you can get rum cheap AND you can get bored in under 2 minutes!
But wait, it’s hot! Really hot! Like space-shuttle-with-faulty-panels hot.
Maybe Mr. Black-as-a-Bob-Marley-album taxi driver can give you a ride to a beach for $6/person which is walking distance away?! “It’s a deal mon!" Just for you and da famil-ee! I show you da sites! The aqua colored water, the palm trees, the big pink hotel! Ooooooooooo!!!! Holy shit mon!! Statue of Liberty who? Empire State Building wha?? You guys have a casino? Wow!!! Hey mon, you got yet them crazy inventions down here on da island known as air conditioning or deodorant?
Luckily you can get souvenirs! These islands specialize in t-shirts, 25 for $10, hmmmm, is that a scam? I dunno. They’re not gonna shrink are they? “Oh nooooo mon! Dey won't shrink.” Please, I bought one once. An XL. I got back to my cruise ship and it was a medium. I got home, it was a tissue.
People get all crazy going to the Caribbean. It’s beaches, with blue, calm water, and people who should never, ever, EVER, never wear bikinis. There’s one main drag for souvenirs that you’ll wish you never bought thirty seconds after you get home, and if you eat the jerk chicken well... I’m sure these island people with no shoes, no hygiene, and no storm windows really care about poultry disinfection.
Onto the last island. A huge jungle. Crazy natives. Death at every turn. There are Queens, peasants, and food that won’t give me diarrhea for a month. That’s right, Manhattan. And you know what? When I get in the cab? Same stinking, scamming guy!!!
Home sweet home, mon.

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