Sighs Jokes / Recent Jokes

Here is a story about a popular young rabbi, who on Sabbath eve announces to the congregation that he will not renew his contract and is moving on to a larger congregation that will pay him more.

There is a hush. No one wants him to leave. Epstein, who owns several car dealerships, stands up and announces, "If the rabbi stays, I'll provide him with a new sedan every year, and his lovely wife with a mini van, to transport their children!"

The congregation sighs, and applauds.

Goldstein, the entrepreneur and investor stands and says, "If the rabbi stays, I'll double his salary, and establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of his children!!"

More sighs and applause.

Mrs. Goldfarb, aged 70, stands and announces, "If the rabbi stays, I'll give him SEX!!"

There is a hush. The rabbi, blushing, asks, "Mrs. Goldfarb, whatever possessed you to say that?"

Mrs. more...

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts. ”

The wife sighs and gets him a beer.

Fifteen minutes later, he says, “Get me another beer before it
starts. ”

She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him.

He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, “Quick, get me another beer, it’s going to start any minute. ”

The wife is furious. She yells at him,

“Is that all you’re going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You’re nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob and furthermore. . . ”

The man sighs and says, “It’s started. ”

There is a story about a popular young rabbi, who onSabbath eve announces to the congregation that he willnot renew his contract and is moving on to a largercongregation that will pay him more. There is a hush. No one wants him to leave. Epstein, who owns several car dealerships, stands upand announces, "If the rabbi stays, I'll provide him witha new sedan every year, and his lovely wife with a minivan, to transport their children!"The congregation sighs, and applauds. Goldstein, the entrepreneur and investor stands and says,"If the rabbi stays, I'll double his salary, and establish afoundation to guarantee the college education of hischildren!!"More sighs and applause. Old Mrs. Goldfarb, aged 96, stands and announces,"If the rabbi stays, I offer SEX!!"There is a hush. The rabbi, blushing, asks, "Mrs. Goldfarb, whatever possessed you to say that?" Mrs. Goldfarb answers, "I just asked Mr. Goldfarb what wecould contribute to make the rabbi more...

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts!"
The wife sighs and gets him a beer.
Ten minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it starts!"
She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute!"
The wife is furious. She yells at him "Is that all you're going to do tonight! Drink beer and sit in front of that TV! You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore..."
The man sighs and says, "It's started..."

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts!"The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Ten minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it starts!"She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute!"The wife is furious. She yells at him "Is that all you're going to do tonight! Drink beer and sit in front of that TV! You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore..."The man sighs and says, "It's started..."

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts!"
The wife sighs and gets him a beer.
Ten minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it starts!"
She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute!"
The wife is furious. She yells at him "Is that all you're going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore..."
The man sighs and says, "It's started..."

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts!"The wife sighs and gets him a beer.Ten minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it starts!"She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute!"The wife is furious. She yells at him "Is that all you're going to do tonight! Drink beer and sit in front of that TV! You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore..."The man sighs and says, "It's started..."