Sight Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man walks into a bar with his dog and puts the dog on a barstool. The bartender asks the man what he wants to drink.
"I'll have a bourbon and Coke!"
The man then turns to his dog and asks, "What are you going to have, Rover?"
"I'll have a Scotch and soda - light on the soda," says Rover.
The bartender is skeptical about the dog talking. "Come on," he says, "that dog can't talk - you're a ventriloquist!"
"No, Rover can really talk! While I am in the restroom, you can have a conversation with him yourself - but don't let him out of your sight. He is a very valuable dog."
The man goes to the restroom. When he returns, the dog is gone.
"Hey, where's my dog? I told you not to let him out of your sight."
"Aw, I didn't believe that Rover could talk, so I gave him a quarter and sent him to the drug store to buy me a paper."
"Let's go look for him," said the more...

A man walks into a bar with his dog and puts the dog on a barstool. The bartender asks the man what he wants to drink.
"I'll have a bourbon and Coke!"
The man then turns to his dog and asks, "What are you going to have, Rover?"
"I'll have a Scotch and soda -- light on the soda," says Rover.
The bartender is skeptical about the dog talking. "Come on," he says, "that dog can't talk -- you're a ventriloquist!"
"No, Rover can really talk! While I am in the restroom, you can have a conversation with him yourself -- but don't let him out of your sight. He is a very valuable dog."
The man goes to the restroom. When he returns, the dog is gone.
"Hey, where's my dog? I told you not to let him out of your sight."
"Aw, I didn't believe that Rover could talk, so I gave him a quarter and sent him to the drug store to buy me a paper."
"Let's go look for him," said more...

Chemistry Wonderland

Gases explode, are you listenin'
In your rest tube, silver glistens
A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight
Walking in a chemistry wonderland.

Gone away, is the buoyancy
Here to stay, is the density
A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight
Walking in a chemistry wonderland.

In the beaker we will make lead carbonate
and decide if what's left is nitrate
My partner asks "Do we measure it in moles or grams?"
and I'll say, "Does it matter in the end?"

Later on, as we calculate
the amount, of our nitrate
We'll face unafraid, the precipitates that we made
walking in a chemistry wonderland.

One evening, Bill and Carole were dining at a very fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, noticed that Bill was ever so slowly, silently sliding down his chair and under the table, while Carole remained quite unconcerned. Their waitress watched as Bill slid all the way down his chair and completely out of sight under the table.
Still, Carole appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that Bill had disappeared under the table.
After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to their table and said to Carole, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I believe your husband just slid under the table."
Carole calmly looked up at the waitress and replied firmly, "No he didn't. Actually, my husband just walked in the front door."

Chemistry Wonderland
Gases explode, are you listenin'
In your rest tube, silver glistens
A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight
Walking in a chemistry wonderland.
Gone away, is the buoyancy
Here to stay, is the density
A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight
Walking in a chemistry wonderland.
In the beaker we will make lead carbonate
and decide if what's left is nitrate
My partner asks "Do we measure it in moles or grams?"
and I'll say, "Does it matter in the end?"
Later on, as we calculate
the amount, of our nitrate
We'll face unafraid, the precipitates that we made
walking in a chemistry wonderland.

There was a Blonde, a Brunette, and a Redhead standing on the beach. They had decided the previous evening whilst in the pub to try and swim the English channel. After some dicussion, they decided the quickest way would be to do the breast stroke, so off they set.
One day later the Redhead reached the French coast. Having lost sight of the other two swimmers just off the English coast she decided that they couldn't be far behind so sat on the beach looking out to sea waiting for the other two.
After a cold night of waiting, the Brunette finally came into sight.
"What took you so long?" inquired the Redhead.
"There were some strong currents out there! But I'm here now! Am I the last?" replied the Brunette.
"No. Blondie is still out there somewhere." They decided to wait. Day after day the two swimmers sat on the beach until on the 5th day Blondie came into view.
Once on dry land the Brunette asked the blonde, "What took you so more...

There was a Blonde, a Brunette, and a Redhead standing on the beach.
They had decided the previous evening whilst in the pub to try and swim the English channel.
After some dicussion, they decided the quickest way would be to do the breast stroke, so off they set.
One day later the Redhead reached the French coast. Having lost sight of the other two swimmers just off the English coast she decided that they couldn't be far behind so sat on the beach looking out to sea waiting for the other two.
After a cold night of waiting, the Brunette finally came into sight. "What took you so long?" inquired the Redhead.
"There were some strong currents out there! But I'm here now! Am I the last?" replied the Brunette.
"No. Blondie is still out there somewhere." They decided to wait.
Day after day the two swimmers sat on the beach until on the 5th day Blondie came into view. Once on dry land the Brunette asked the blonde "What took you more...