Silver Jokes / Recent Jokes
A retired gentleman went into the social security office to apply for Social Security benefits. After waiting in line a long time, he finally arrived at the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his drivers license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry, but he seemed to have left his wallet at home.
'Will I have to go home and come back now?' he asks. The woman says, 'Unbutton your shirt.' So he opens his shirt revealing lots of curly silver hair. She says, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me,' and she processed his Social Security application.
When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the Social Security office.
His wife says, 'You should have dropped your pants, you might have qualified for disability, too.'
A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for . The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "I will have to go home and come back later." The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt." So he opens his shirt revealing curly silver hair. She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me" and she processed his application. When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the social security office. She says, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too."
The moon shown silver on the waters of the lake, and the waves that were beating on the shore were hardly equal in intensity to the waves of passion nearby. One ardent couple paused long enough for the young man towhisper, "Darling am I the first man to make love to you ?"Her tone upon answering was slightly more than irritable. "Of course you are!" she said. "And also the best too. I don't know why you men always ask the same old ridiculous questions."
A homeless man stops at a farmhouse to beg to spend the night. The farmer answers the door and says "Sure, we can put you up."
The vagrant washes up for dinner and meets the family downstairs. Sitting at the dinner table are the farmer, his wife, their son, and a gigantic pig who is sitting at the table like a human. Throughout the meal the vagrant tries not to stare at the pig, who sports three medals around his neck, as well as a wooden leg.
Finally, he can contain his curiosity no longer. He asks "Would you mind telling me about the bronze medal around your pig's neck?"
The farmer says "Sure. It's really an incredible story. Little Timmy here was swimming in the lake when he got a cramp and started to drown. This pig heard his cries for help, busted out of his pen, ran to the lake, and saved our son's life. So, we gave him the medal."
The vagrant is amazed and says "Well, how about that silver medal?"
The farmer says more...
The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer.
After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said,
"Who owns the big white horse outside?"
The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, "I do. Why?"
The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you would like to know that your horse is just about dead outside!"
The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and, sure enough, Silver was about dead from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got him some water and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better.
The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better."
Tonto said, "Sure Kemosabe", and took off running circles around Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his drink.
A more...
A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms.
Clearly impressed, he buys a pack.
Upon getting home he shows his wife the purchase he just made.
"Olympic condoms?", she blurts, "What makes them so special?"
"They're in three colours", he replies, "Gold, Silver and Bronze."
"What colour are you going to wear tonight?", she asks cheekily.
"Gold of course", says the man proudly!
The wife responds wryly, "Why don't you wear Silver, it would be nice if you came second for a change!".