Similarity Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man on a bus spends much of the journey staring at the guy sitting opposite. Before long the other guy starts staring back and demands to know why he is the focus of so much attention.

“I’m very sorry,” begins the first man, “but if it weren’t for the moustache you’d look just like my wife!”

“But I don’t have a moustache!” protests the other.

“See what I mean?” he replies.

Q. Why are men like noodles?
A. They are always in hot water. They lack taste. They need dough.

1970: Wore long hair
2011: Longing for hair
1970: Sitting around thinking of the perfect high.
2011: Sitting around thinking of the perfect high yield mutual fund.
1970: Finding a friend to split the price of a keg.
2011: Finding a friend to take me to have an EKG.
1970: Sitting through sessions of Acid Rock.
2011: Sitting through sessions of Acid Reflux.
1970: Thinking of moving to a real kool place.
2011: Thinking of moving to a real warm place.
1970: News stories of people growing pot.
2011: The reality of growing a pot belly.
1970: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with my mother and sister.
2011: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with my grown children.
1970: Trying to look like Richard Rountree or Ron O'Neal.
2011: Trying NOT to look like Richard Rountree or Ron O'Neal.
1970: Chewing on seeds and stems.
2011: Chewing on lots of roughage.
1970: Popping pills, smoking joints.
2011: Popping joints, more...

China has a population of a billion people. One billion. That means even if you're a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.

Question: What is red, full of seeds and looks like half of a tomato?

Answer: Other half of the tomato.

Q: What is the similarity between drinking a Cola and a swede`s laugh? A: You can`t beat the feeling.

Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!