Simmons Jokes

Simmons's Law: The desire for racial integration increases with the square of the distance from the actual event.

Jean Simmons, who played opposite Marlon Brando in'Guys and Dolls', died at the age of 80. However, due to major confusion at the funeral home, she was buried in a KISS casket.

Here's an original (to my best knowledge) by Donald Simmons that was
posted to a kind of strange thread on ncsu.general...
[Note - posted with Andy Simmons' permission. My thanks to him - ed.]
From: [email protected] (Donald Andrew Simmons)
Subject: Re: Yoda Grammar
In article ,
Ravi K. Swamy wrote:
>
>>Ever wonder if there are others of Yoda's race, and if they speak the
>>same way?
>
>Oh, the horror.
Imagine the yoda-men in the office, around the water cooler.
Yoda 1: Hello, Bill.
Yoda 2: Morning, Hank.
Yoda 1: Finish that proposal, you did?
Yoda 2: Yes, finally. Quite a chore, it was.
Yoda 1: That Henderson, he is a slave driver, eh?
Yoda 2: Yes. To kick his ass I'd like. "There is no try, only do."
Asshole he is.