Sing Jokes / Recent Jokes

Jimmy:' Hey, Mike! How's your new pet fish doing? You told me he was really something special.'
Mike:' To tell the truth, I'm really disappointed in him. The guy who sold him to me said I could teach him to sing like a bird.'
Jimmy:' What? Let me get this straight... You bought a fish because you thought you could teach him to sing like a bird?'
Mike:' Well, yeah. After all, you know, he's a parrot fish.'
Jimmy:' Now listen, Mike, while you might be able to teach a parrot to sing, you're never going to get anywhere with a parrot fish.'
Mike:' That's what you think! It just so happens this fish CAN sing. The thing is, he's terribly off-key and it's driving me
crazy. Do you know how hard it is to tuna fish?'

The principal singer of nineteenth-century opera was called pre-Madonna.It is easy to teach anyone to play the maracas. Just grip the neck and shake him in rhythm.Gregorian chant has no music, just singers singing the same lines.Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphony.At one time singers had to use musicians to accompany them. Since synthesizers came along, singers can now play themselves.All female parts were sung by castrati. We don't know exactly what they sounded like because there are no known descendants.Young scholars have expressed their rapture for the Bronze Lullaby, the Taco Bell Cannon, Beethoven's Erotica, Tchaikovsky Cracknutter Suite, and Gershwin's Rap City in Blue.Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel; if they sing without music it is called Acapulco.A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.Contralto is a low sort of music that only ladies sing.Diatonic is a low calorie Schweppes.Probably the most marvellous fugue was the one between the more...

What song do pigs sing on New Years Eve? Auld Lang Swine.

A man goes into a pet store to buy his wife a gift. He asks the clerk for something special. The clerk walks over to the bird section. "This is Ches. He was trained to sing Christmas carols. Watch."
The clerk lights a match and puts it under one of Ches' feet. The parrot immediately starts to sing 'Jingle Bells'.
"Why that's amazing!", exclaims the guy.
The clerk lights another match, and puts it under the other foot. This time the parrot starts singing 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.'
By this time the man is sold on the parrot, and so he pays the clerk and takes the parrot home to his wife. He lights a match and demonstrates Ches' unique ability. The guy then lights a second match and does the same thing. The wife and the guy enjoy the evening with their new pet.
A couple of days later, the wife asks the man, "What would happen if you put a match between his feet?"
The guy shrugs his shoulders and walks over to Ches, lights a more...

A few days before Christmas, a man enters a pet store looking for a unique gift for his wife. The store manager tells him he has just what he's looking for! A beautiful parrot named Chet that sings Christmas carols.
He brings the husband over to a colorful but quiet bird. The man agrees that Chet certainly is pretty, but he doesn't seem to be much for singing. The manager tells him to watch as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a lighter. The manager then clicks the lighter and holds it under Chet's left foot. Immediately Chet starts singing; "Silent Night, Holy Night."
The husband is very impressed with Chet's singing abilities and watches as the manager moves the lighter underneath Chet's right foot. Chet now starts to sing "Jingle Bells, Jingle All the Way." The husband says Chet is perfect and that he'll take him.
The husband rushes home to his wife and insists upon giving her this wonderful gift immediately. He presents Chet and starts to more...

A few days before Christmas, a man enters a pet store looking for a unique gift for his wife. The store manager tells him, he has just what he's looking for! A beautiful parrot named Chet that sings Christmas carols. He brings the husband over to the colourful but quiet bird. The man agrees that Chet certainly is retty, but he doesn't seem to be much for singing.
The manager tells him to watch as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a lighter. The manager then clicks the lighter and holds it under Chet's left foot. Immediately Chet starts singing; "Silent Night, Holy Night."
The husband is very impressed with Chet's singing abilities and watches as the manager moves the lighter underneath Chet's right foot. Chet now starts to sing "Jingle Bells, Jingle All the Way."
The husband says Chet is perfect and that he'll take him. The husband rushes home to his wife and insists upon giving her this wonderful gift immediately. He presents Chet and starts to more...

1. During recess time,
I like skipping rope.
When I skip I shout a rhyme,
And jump with all my hope.
2. I didn't study for the test even though I should've.
I was playing PS2 and I would've,
so I copied off of yours,
I got them all wrong,
so now I sing this song. (sing over and over this is an endless song.)
3. Some gum chum?
It's watermelon,
although I chewed it some,
and it is jerybellum. (jerybellum - bubble gum co.)