Sing Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three generals, one from the Army, another from the Marines, and a third from the Air Force, were having a debate with a Navy Admiral about whose soldiers were the bravest.
To prove his point, the Air Force general calls over an airman: "Airman! Climb that flagpole, and once you are at the top, sing' Wild Blue Yonder', and then jump off!"
"YES SIR!" replies the airman. He takes off for the flagpole like a shot, scales up it, sings the anthem, salutes and jumps off, hitting the ground at attention.
The general dismisses him. "Now that's bravery!" exclaims the general.
"Ah, that's nothing," says the Admiral, "Seaman!" A seaman appears, "YES, SIR!!" "Take this weapon," as he offers him an M14, "Scale that flagpole, balance yourself on top, stand at attention, present arms, and sing' Anchors Aweigh.' Salute each of us, and jump off.
"YES SIR!!" replies the seaman. He sprints for more...

What song should you sing to a wildebeest on his birthday? "Happy Birthday To Gnu!"

Using the following list will most certainly keep your afternoons free and enable you to watch those cool Oprah and Sally shows.
When filling out the job application form, under the heading 'Sex', instead of writing male or female, write in, "Not nearly enough, but I'm trying!"
In the same form under the heading 'Have you ever been convicted of a crime?' answer, "Not yet".
Show up late for the interview and try to rationalize it by saying, "My mom forgot to wake me again." This is in especially bad taste if you happen to be in your forties or older.
When meeting the interviewer for the first time, shake his hand and say: "You look familiar. I'm sure I've seen you before somewhere. Weren't you in the cell next to mine at Sing Sing?"
Tell the employer you will need a salary of at least $40k because the price of cocaine has gone up.
When asked why you left your last job, say: "Ah, well, my employer died under mysterious more...

A guy walks into a pet store wanting a parrot. The store clerk shows him two beautiful ones out on the floor. "This one's $5,000 and the other is$10,000." the clerk said. "Wow! What does the $5,000 one do?" "This parrot can sing every aria Mozart ever wrote." "And the other?" said the customer. "This one can sing Wagner's entire Ring cycle. There's another one inthe back room for $30,000." "Holy moly! What does that one do?" "Nothing that I can tell, but the other two parrots call him 'Maestro'."

A guy walks into a pet store wanting a parrot. The store clerk shows him two beautiful ones out on the floor. "This one's $5, 000 and the other is$10, 000." the clerk said. "Wow! What does the $5, 000 one do?" "This parrot can sing every aria Mozart ever wrote." "And the other?" said the customer. "This one can sing Wagner's entire Ring cycle. There's another one inthe back room for $30, 000." "Holy moly! What does that one do?" "Nothing that I can tell, but the other two parrots call him' Maestro'."

As the minister was preparing to begin his sermon he noticed a young woman in the front pew, dressed in a tight, skimpy dress with her breasts almost hanging out. Unable to concentrate on his message, he dismissed the parishioners and asked to speak to the young woman after everyone else left.
"What is the meaning of this? he said sternly. "What do you mean by coming to church dressed in such a fashion?"
"Why, Reverend," the young gal replied, "All of my boyfriends tell me that they can hear the angels sing when they put their heads on my breasts."
"Well, let me check," the Reverend said, as he placed his head between her breasts.
A few minutes later, he raised his head and said, "I'm sorry, young lady, but I do not hear any angels singing!"
"Well, of course not, Reverend," she replied. "You aren't plugged in yet!"

What do monkeys sing at Christmas? Jungle Bells, Jungle bells..!