Singh Jokes / Recent Jokes

After making a trip of South India, Santa Singh, his wife and his son were returning to Punjab in Tamilnadu Express. Santa Singh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train. When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way back the son requested Santa Singh to bring him a cup of Ice cream to which Santa readily agreed. When Santa and his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understand Hindi had occupied his son's berth. Outraged, Santa Singh called the TT and asked him to help. TT requested that he could not understand Hindi/Punjabi so it would be better if Santa Singh explained the whole situation to him in English. Santa Singh explained, "That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child."

Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double- decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh.
He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta Singh!
What the heck's going' on? Why are you scared? I was enjoying my ride down there? " Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a *driver.* "

What do you call a sardar who has only one drink? Just-one Singh.
What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer? Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).
How did the Sardar try to kill the bird? He threw it off a cliff.
Why can't Sardars make ice cubes? They always forget the recipe.
Why do Sardars work seven days a week? So you don't have to re-train them on Monday

Mr Harpreet Singh Gulati is traveling from Moscow to Turban Pore [Capital of Khalistan] by "Kithe" Pacific.Seated besides him is Gary Kasparov. Gary asks him whether he would like to play chess to kill time.
Gulati :"Oye Gar(r)y. You think I don't know who U are?. I can't compete with a world champion"
Gary: "How about if I play left handed ?"
Gulati: [Think.. Think..] "OK!"
Gulati is demolished in 4 moves... and is very upset through-out the rest of the journey. On landing he meets his friend Manpreet Singh.
Gulati: Hey! U know what! I played Chess with Gary Kasparov and he defeated me in spite of him playing left-handed...
Manpreet: Oye ullu-de pathey! He sure did fool you! U know what! Gary IS LEFT-HANDED!!

Mr Harpreet Singh Gulati is traveling from Moscow to Turban Pore [Capital of Khalistan] by Kithe Pacific. Seated besides him is Gary Kasparov. Gary asks him whether he would like to play chess to kill time. Gulati: "Oye Gar(r)y. You think I don't know who U are?. I can't compete with a world champion" Gary: "How about if I play left handed? " Gulati: [Think.. Think..] "OK!" Gulati is demolished in 4 moves... and is very upset through-out the rest of the journey. On landing he meets his friend Manpreet Singh. Gulati: Hey! U know what! I played Chess with Gary Kasparov and he defeated me in spite of him playing left-handed... Manpreet: Oye ullu-de pathey!! He sure did fool you!! U know what!! Gary IS LEFT-HANDED!!

Banta Singh was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the wall.
It read "Padne waala gadha." (One who reads it is an ass.)
Santa Singh thought for an hour, erased it and wrote back, "Likhene waala gadha" (One who wrote it is an ass).

Ram, Shyam and Santa Singh died. When they went up to the clouds, Ram and Shyam were asked to go to Heaven and Santa to hell.
Santa also wanted to go to Heaven and after a lot of pleading, he somehow managed to ask the Judge to have a test in the subjects English, maths and History.
In the English test Ram was asked to spell "cat", Shyam to spell "rat" and santa was asked "Thiruvanthapuram". Santa fainted.
Next day, in Math test, Ram was asked to the table of 2. Shyam, table of 5 and Santa was asked table of 59. Santa fainted again.
In History test, Ram was asked "How many world war has taken place?" He answered "2".
Shyam was asked, "How many people died in second world war?"
He answered "about one million".
Santa was asked to name the people who died in second world war. Santa died again.