Sinned Jokes / Recent Jokes

There were these three nuns that wanted the weekend off from being so holy. So they went up to the high priest and asked him for the day off. The priest said it was alright as long as they came back on Monday and told him what they did. The nuns agreed and scurried off. On Monday the nuns came back and went to the priest. The first nun was in confession and said to the priest, "Forgive me father for I have sinned." The priest asked her what she had done. "I ran down my street naked" The priest shakes his head ad looks at the nun and says "Go drink some holy water and say the Our Father 10 times. The nun obeys. Then third nun starts to snicker. The secnd nun goes into the room and says "forgive me father for I have sinned." The priest looks at her and says " What did you do?" "I watched a pornographich movie" The priests shakes his head and looks at the nun. "Go drink some holy water and then come back and say 20 Our more...

One day 3 men went to a shrine to ask the Father for forgivness.
The first man went to the Father and said: " Father, Father I have sinned!" Father: "What have you done?" The first man:" I have lied!" Father: "Drink the Holy water and you will be saved." And so the man drank the water and was "saved".
Then the second man went up to the Father and said:" Father, Father I have sinned!" Father: "What have you done?" The second man: " I have stolen from the jeweler's!" Father: "Drink the Holy water and you will be saved." And so the man drank the holy water and was "saved".
The third man went up to the Father and said: " Father, Father I have sinned!" Father: "What have you done?" The third man: " I peed in the Holy water!"

One day 3 men went to a shrine to ask the Father for forgivness.The first man went to the Father and said: " Father, Father I have sinned!" Father: "What have you done?" The first man:" I have lied!" Father: "Drink the Holy water and you will be saved." And so the man drank the water and was "saved".Then the second man went up to the Father and said:" Father, Father I have sinned!" Father: "What have you done?" The second man: " I have stolen from the jeweler's!" Father: "Drink the Holy water and you will be saved." And so the man drank the holy water and was "saved".The third man went up to the Father and said: " Father, Father I have sinned!" Father: "What have you done?" The third man: " I peed in the Holy water!"

Three guys found themselves in Hell: we will call them Carl, Bob, and Brett, they were a little confused at their present situation, and they were startled to see a door in the wall open, and behind the door was perhaps the ugliest woman they had ever seen. She was 3'4", dirty, and you could smell her even over the Brimstone. The voice of the Devil was heard, "Brett, you have sinned! You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in bed with this woman!" And Brett was whisked through the door by a group of lesser demons to his torment. This understandably shook up the other two, and so they both jumped when a second door opened, and they saw an even more disgusting example of womanhood gone wrong. She was over 7' tall, monstrous, covered in thick black hair,and flies circled her. The voice of the Devil was heard, "Carl, you have sinned! You are condemned to spend the re st of eternity in bed with this woman!" And Carl, like Brett, was whisked off. Bob, now more...

A man goes to the confessional and begins "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.""What is your sin, my son?" the priest asks back."Well," the man starts, "I used some horrible language this week and I feel absolutely terrible." "When did you use this awful language?" asks the priest."I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 250 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards.""Is that when you swore?" "No, Father," says the man."After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in his mouth and began to run away.""Is THAT when you swore?" asks the Father again. "Well, no," says the man."You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly more...

A priest getting ready to hear confessions duddenly realized that he desparately had to go to the bathroom. He looked outside the confessional and saw the janitor walking by.
He pulled him aside and said: "Look, I really gotta go to the bathroom, but people are lining up for confession. Could you take over for a few minutes?" The janitor began to protest, but the priest said: "Look, its easy. I have the sins and give them penance. No one will know it's you in there" The janitor agreed and took his place in the confessional.
The first parishioner entered the confessional and began "Bless me father, for I have sinned. I have commited adultery." The janitor looked on the chart and found "Adultery - 20 Hail Mary". He mumbled some forgiveness sounding words and told the parishioner to say 20 Hail Marys. The parishioner thanked him and left. The janitor breathed a sign of relief.
The second parishioner entered the confessional and began more...

Tommy enters the confessional box and says, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."
The priest asks, "Is that you, Tommy ?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the woman you were with?"
"Sure and I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda ?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Patricia ?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Liz Shannon?"
"I'm sorry, but I'll not name her."
"Was it Cathy ?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Fiona, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a steadfast lad, Tommy, and I admire that. But you've sinned, and you must atone. Be off with you now."
Tommy walks back to more...