Sister Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day a nun was fishing and caught a huge, strange looking fish.A man was walking by and said, "WOW! What a nice Gauddam Fish!"
The sister said, "Sir, you shouldn't use God's name in vain." The man said, "But that's the SPECIES of the fish - a Gauddam Fish." The sister said, "Oh, ok."
The Sister took the fish back home and said, "Mother Superior,
look at the Gauddam Fish I caught."
Shocked, the Mother Superior said, "Sister, you know better than that."
The nun said, "That's the species of it - a Gauddam Fish."
So the Mother Superior said, "Well, give me the Gauddam Fish and I'll clean it."
While she was cleaning the fish, Monsignor walked in and Mother
Superior said, "Monsignor, look at the Gauddam Fish that the sister
caught."
Nearly fainting, Monsignor said, "Mother Superior, you shouldn"t talk like that!"
Mother Superior said, more...

Why did your sister cut a hole in her new umbrella? Because she wanted to be able to tell when it stopped raining.

A litte boys goes to his father and asks him the difference between hypothetical and a fact.
His father tells him to go ask his mother if she would sleep with the mailman for a million dollars.
The boy asks his mother and she replies "Hell yeah."
He tells his father what she says and then his father tells him to go ask his sister if she would sleep with the principal for a million dollars.
He asks and his sister replies "Yes."
He again tells his father what the answer was. The little boy asks "So what's the difference?"
The father replied "Hypothetically we're rich, the fact is we're just living with a couple of whores."

The gift
A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's
birthday, and as they had not been dating very long, after careful
consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right
note; romantic, but not too personal.
Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to
Nordstom and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased
a pair of panties for herself.
During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister
got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking
the contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his
sweetheart with the following note:
"I choose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing
any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I
would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears short
ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady
I more...

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has not let me forget.

Son Of A Bitch Fish A irish priest took a sabbatical to a fishing lodge. On the last day of his trip he hooked a monster fish and proceeded to reel it in. The guide holding a net, yelled "Look at the size of that Son of a Bitch!" Son, I`m a irish priest. Your language is uncalled for! No, irish father, that`s what kind of fish it is. A Son of a Bitch fish! Really? Well help me land this Son of a Bitch! Once in the boat, they marveled at the monster. irish father, that is the biggest Son of a Bitch I`ve ever seen. Yes, it is a big Son of a Bitch. What should I do with it? Why eat it of course. You`ve never tasted anything as good as that Son of a Bitch! Elated, the irish priest headed home to the church. While unloading his gear, and his prize catch, Sister Mary inquired about his trip. "Take a look at this big Son of a Bitch I caught!" Sister Mary gasped and clutched her rosary, "irish father!" It`s ok Sister. That`s what kind of fish it is. A Son of a more...

wanted to purchase a gift for his new
sweetheart`s birthday and as they had not been dating
very long, after careful consideration, he decided a
pair of gloves would strike the right note: romantic
but not too personal. Accompanied by his sweetheart`s
younger sister, he went to Nordstrom`s and bought a
pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of
panties for herself.
During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and
the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart
got the panties.
Without checking the contents, the young man sealed
the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the
following note:
"I chose these because I noticed that you are not in
the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening.
If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen
the long ones with the buttons but she wears short ones
that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade,
but the more...