Skunk Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: When attorneys die, why do they bury them 600 feet underground?
A: Because deep down, they're really nice guys.

Q: If you drop a snake and an attorney off the Empire State Building, which one hits first?
A: Who cares? Q: How can you tell the difference between a dead skunk and a dead attorney on the road?
A: The vultures aren't gagging over the skunk.

Q: What's the difference between an attorney and a pit bull?
A: Jewelry.

Q: What do lawyers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.

Q: What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A: Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new Ferrari.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One; the lawyer holds it while the rest of the world revolves around him.

What did the judge say when a skunk entered the courtroom? Answer: Odor, Odor in the court!!!

A young couple were driving home one night.

As they came around a curve, they ran over a mother skunk. The woman saw a baby skunk crying on the side of the road and demanded her boyfriend stop. Taking the baby home, it started shivering.

The woman said, "It's cold. What do I do?"

The man replied, "Put it down between your legs and warm it up."

The lady then asked, "What about the smell?"

The man replied, "I guess just hold its little nose!"

Question: Why don't sharks bite lawyers?
Answer: Professional courtesy.
Question: If a skunk and a lawyer both get hit by cars and are lying in the middle of the road, how do you tell them apart?
Answer: The skunk has skid marks in front of it.

Q. What do lawyers use for birth control?
A. Their personalities.
Q. What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A. A tick falls off of you when you die.
Q. Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
A. To prevent clients from being billed twice for what is essentially the same service.
Q. What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their neck in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
Q. What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the middle of the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Q. What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A. A Doberman.
Q. Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
A. If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
Q. What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
A. One in 3, 000, 000 has a chance of becoming a more...

What do you get when you cross a teddy bear and a skunk?

Winnie the Peeyew!

There was a frog, a duck and a skunk and they all went to a movie that cost $1. Which of them got in and which didn't? The frog got in with its green back, the duck got in with its bill, and the skunk got left out because it only had a cent (scent).