Slaps Jokes / Recent Jokes

One night a man decides to visit his local bar. He takes a seat and orders a beer. After polishing off his beer, he beckons the bartender over and says, "Betcha $20 I can bite my eye." The bartender scoffs and accepts. The man then calmly removes his false eye and bites it. The bartender grudgingly forks over a twenty.
Later that night, after a few more beers, the man wanders back to the bar and says rather drunkenly, "Hey barkeep, betcha another $20 I can bite my other eye." Wanting to win back his money and seriously doubtful that the man has two false eyes, the bartender accepts. The man calmly removes his false teeth and bites his other eye. Scowling, the bartender hands over another twenty. The man leaves and wanders around the bar as he drinks a few more beers.
He strolls back over to the bar, leaning on it, again and calls the bartender, "Hey, barkeep," he burbles, "I'll give you a chance to win yer money back plus. Betcha $100 if you more...

Three people walked by a strip bar they walked in, the first guy licks a 100 dollar bill and slaps it on one side of her butt. The next guy also, licks a 100 dollar bill and slaps it on the other side of her butt. The third guy walks in takes out a credit card swipes it through her butt and takes the 200 dollars.

One night, a drunk comes stumbling into a bar and says to the bartender: “Drinks for all on me including you, bartender. ” So the bartender follows the mans orders and says: “That will be $36. 50 please. ” The drunk says he has no money so the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.
The next night the same drunk comes in again and orders a drink for everyone in the bar including the bartender. Again the bartender follows instructions and again the drunk says he has no money. So the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.
On the third night he comes in, the drunk orders drinks for all except the bartender. “What, no drink for me? ” replies the bartender. “Oh, no. You get violent when you drink. ”

A man goes into a restaurant, sits down at a table and, when the comely waitress asks for his order, says, "I want a quickie".
She slaps his face and says, "Now would you please give me your order?"
Again, he says, "I want a quickie".
She slaps him again and says, "I'll give you one last chance - what do you want?"
Someone from the next table leans over and says quietly to the man, "I think it's pronounced quiche."

A little black boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face. He looks at his mom and says, "Mom, look, I'm a white boy!"His mom slaps him in the kisser and says, "Go show your father!"He goes to his dad in the living room and says, "Look dad, I'm a white boy!" His dad slaps him hard in the face and says, "Go show your Grandmother!"The boy goes in his grandmother's room and says, "Look granny, I'm a white boy!" His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to his mother. His mother says "See. Did you learn anything from that?!"To which the boy replies, "Sure enough did. I've only been white for 5 minutes and I already hate you black people!"

A little black boy is in the kitchen when his black mother is baking. The black child puts his hands in the flour and rubs it all over his face. He looks at his black mom and says, "Look mamma, I am a white boy!"
His black mother slaps him and tells him to show his black father, and the black boy says "Look daddy, I am a whiteboy!"
The black father slaps his son and sends him to his black grandmother. Before he talks she slaps him too!
He goes down to his black mother and she says, "Now what did you learn from all of this?"
The black boy responds: "I have been white for five minutes and I already hate you damn blacks!"

One night, a drunk comes stumbling into a bar and says to the bartender: "Drinks for all on me including you, bartender." So the bartender follows the mans orders and says: "That will be $36.50 please." The drunk says he has no money so the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.
The next night the same drunk comes in again and orders a drink for everyone in the bar including the bartender. Again the bartender follows instructions and again the drunk says he has no money. So the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.
On the third night he comes in, the drunk orders drinks for all except the bartender. "What, no drink for me?" replies the bartender. "Oh, no. You get violent when you drink."