Slices Jokes

A man out playing golf slices off into the woods. When he goes to
find the ball he discovers a witch (hat and all) stirring a
cauldron. So out of curiosity he asks her what she is brewing.
"A magic potion" she replies.
"Well what does it for" he asks. "This potion will make anyone an
excellent golfer."
At this he gets really excited and asks if he can have some. She is
agreeable but warns him that it will have dire consequences on his
sex life.
After a short period of soul searching he decides to try the potion.
He goes back to the golf course and completes an excellent game of
golf. Next he challenges the golf pro and beats him easily. He
spends every possible moment of the next year playing golf at every
course he manage to get to and having a wonderful time of it. After
a year he finds himself back at the same course where he found the
witch. Out of curiosity he slices one into the woods so he more...

Little Johnny's parents were attempting to potty train him. When he did go to the bathroom though, it seemed like he hit everything except the toilet. Then his mother would have to go in and clean up after him.
After a couple of weeks, she had had enough, so she took Johnny to the doctor. After explaining the problem to him, the doctor said, "Well, his member is too small. There is an old wive's tale that says to give him two slices of toast each morning and his member will grow. Then he will be able to hold it and aim straight."
The following morning, Johnny jumped out of bed and raced downstairs to the kitchen. On the table were a dozen slices of toast.
"Mom," Johnny yelled, "the doctor said I only have to eat two slices of toast."
"Yes, I know son," his mother replied and smiled. "The other ten are for your dad."

These three brothers all got married on the same day and all went to the same location for their honeymoon. That evening, they got together without their wives and were bragging about how much shagging they were going to do that night. They eventually came to an agreement that they would use some form of code words the next morning, in front of their wives, to let each other know how they had got on the previous evening.
Anyhow, the next morning came, and the three exhausted men were at the breakfast table with their wives. The waiter came over and asked the first what he wanted for breakfast and he replied: "I'll have TWO slices of toast please!"
The other two knew what he meant and they subtley smiled to themselves.
When the second was asked, he replied: "I'll have THREE slices of toast please!"
The third brother at this point subtley smiled again and when he was asked, he replied: "I'll have FOUR slices of white... and THREE slices of more...

New York Governor James Patterson is debating wether or not to cut state prisoners bread allowance down from twelve slices a day. Twelve slices of bread for prisoners? Thats enough bread to kill Mama Kass six times.

Servant: Master Can We Eat Out Today? Master: Sure We Can. {They Go To A Fast Food Restaurant} Master: What Do U Want To Eat?
Servant: A Pizza. Master: Ok {The Waiter Comes And Brings The Pizza} Waiter: Sir, Would U Like It In Four Or Eight Slices??
Master{To The Servant}: U Tell Him. Servant: I Would Like It In Four Slices, Please Because The If The Pizza Is In Eight Slices
I Will Have A Stomach Ache!!