Slices Jokes / Recent Jokes
An old Jewish man goes to his local diner every day for lunch. He always orders the soup du jour. One day the manager asks him how he liked his meal.
The old man replies (with Yiddish accent) "Wass goot, but you could give a little more bread."
So the next day the manager tells the waitress to give him four slices of bread. "How was your meal, sir?" the manager asks. "Wass goot, but you could give a little more bread", comes the reply.
So the next day the manager tells the waitress to give him eight slices of bread. "How was your meal today, sir?" the manager asks. "Wass goot, but you could give a little more bread", comes the reply.
So... the next day the manager tells the waitress to give him a whole loaf of bread with his soup. "How was your meal, sir?" the manager asks, when he comes to pay. "Wass goot, but you could give just a little more bread", comes the reply once again.
The manager is more...
A guy ordered a pizza, and Luigi behind the counter asked him if he wanted his pizza in 4 slices or 8.
"Better make it four,' cause I really can't finish 8 slices."
Having theirr wedding reception in the same
hotel, and the two grooms, John and Dave, are having a few
beers together at the bar.
"I bet I make love to my wife tonight more times than you make
love to yours" says John.
"Never. I'll bet $50 my wife wakes up more satisfied than yours"
says Dave.
"Right, you're on. But how will we tell which one of us has
won?" says John.
"Easy. When we come down for breakfast tomorrow, just order
the same number of slices of toast as number of times you
made love." says Dave.
The following morning both couples are at breakfast, and both
grooms are smiling as the waiter comes to take the order.
John leans over - "I'll have a full English breakfast, and SIX
slices of toast" he smiles, winking at Dave.
Dave leans over, and says in a loud voice - "I'll also have a full
English breakfast and SEVEN slices of toast -- and more...
Now that the holidays are over, are you looking for
something, nay, *anything* to do with those f$#&@*%
fruitcakes them moron cousins from Georgia send you
every g@&d#$% year?!?
TOP 10 USES FOR HOLIDAY FRUITCAKES
10. Use slices to balance that wobbly kitchen table.
9. Use instead of sand bags during El Nino.
8. Send to U. S. Air Force, let troops drop them.
7. Use as railroad ties.
6. Use as speed bumps to foil the neighborhood drag racers.
5. Collect ten and use them as bowling pins.
4. Use instead of cement shoes.
3. Save for next summer's garage sale.
2. Use slices in next skeet-shooting competition.
1. Two words pin cushion.
A man out playing golf slices off into the woods. When he goes tofind the ball he discovers a witch (hat and all) stirring acauldron. So out of curiosity he asks her what she is brewing."A magic potion" she replies."Well what does it for" he asks. "This potion will make anyone anexcellent golfer."At this he gets really excited and asks if he can have some. She isagreeable but warns him that it will have dire consequences on hissex life.After a short period of soul searching he decides to try the potion.He goes back to the golf course and completes an excellent game ofgolf. Next he challenges the golf pro and beats him easily. Hespends every possible moment of the next year playing golf at everycourse he manage to get to and having a wonderful time of it. Aftera year he finds himself back at the same course where he found thewitch. Out of curiosity he slices one into the woods so he can talkto her."Well", she asks, "How has your game more...
A man out playing golf slices off into the woods. When he goes tofind the ball he discovers a witch (hat and all) stirring acauldron. So out of curiosity he asks her what she is brewing." A magic potion" she replies." Well what does it for" he asks. "This potion will make anyone anexcellent golfer." At this he gets really excited and asks if he can have some. She isagreeable but warns him that it will have dire consequences on hissex life. After a short period of soul searching he decides to try the potion. He goes back to the golf course and completes an excellent game ofgolf. Next he challenges the golf pro and beats him easily. Hespends every possible moment of the next year playing golf at everycourse he manage to get to and having a wonderful time of it. Aftera year he finds himself back at the same course where he found thewitch. Out of curiosity he slices one into the woods so he can talkto her." Well", she asks, "How has your game more...
An old man goes to a diner every day for lunch. He always orders the soup du jour. One day the manager asks him how he liked his meal. The old man replies, in a thick acccent, "Wass goot, but you could give a little more bread."
So the next day the manager tells the waitress to give him four slices of bread. "How was your meal, sir?" the manager asks. "Wass goot, but you could give a little more bread," comes the reply.
So the next day the manager tells the waitress to give him eight slices of bread. "How was your meal today, sir?" the manager asks. "Wass goot, but you could give a little more bread," comes the reply.
So... the next day the manager tells the waitress to give him a whole loaf of bread with his soup. "How was your meal, sir?" the manager asks, when he comes to pay. "Wass goot, but you could give just a little more bread," comes the reply once again.
The manager is now obsessed with more...