Slide Jokes / Recent Jokes

Four men, an Engineer, an Accountant, a Chemist and a Government Worker were bragging about how smart their dogs were.To show off, the Engineer called to his dog and said, "T-Square, do your stuff." T- square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the Accountant said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said, "Slide Rule, do your stuff." Slide Rule went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good. But the Chemist said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said, "Measure, do your stuff."Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was good. Then the three men turned to the Government Worker and said, more...

True Story:
My aunt and her son were coming to our house to view an old slide show of London. Currently, my aunt has grey hair. In the slides she had black hair. My dad tells my cousin, "See, your mother doesn't look old here." He replies, "Well, you can also see when the Hampton Court Palace was new."

A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing the habit to open and reveal a leg.
The Priest looks and nearly has an accident, and after changing gear lets his hand slide up her leg. She immediately says "Father remember psalm 129".
The priest apologizes profusely and removes his hand but is unable to remove his eyes from her leg. Further on when he changes gear and has ogled at her leg for the zillionth time he lets the hand slide up the leg again. The Nun once again says "Father remember psalm 129".
Once again the priest apologizes. "Sorry sister but you know the flesh is weak". Arriving at the convent the nun gets out and the priest goes on his way. Once he arrives at his church he rushes to the bible and looks up psalm 129 it said "GO FORTH AND SEEK, FURTHER UP YOU WILL FIND GLORY"
MORAL OF THE STORY - IN YOUR more...

One day when a mother went to work, her 14 year old daughter decided to try her hand at giving "cybersex". She had learned the prior day at school what it was and thought it would be awesome to give it a try. Not knowing what she was doing she accidently entered a room with another woman. So they started.
Hottie14: Hey, I've never done this before but I think you'll find I'll do just fine.
Oldyetsexy: That's okay, lets start.
I pick you up and throw you on the bed.
Hottie14: I giggle in delight about what's going to happen.
Oldyetsexy: I grab your silk black shirt and slowly slide it off you. Your bra is so cute.
Hottie14: Hey, how do you know I am wearing black and am a woman?
Oldyetsexy: Ummm, lucky guess... and yes I like that you're a woman. Anyway, I feel your boobs - they're really sexy.
Hottie14: Yes I know. I slide my hand down your pants and tickle your "bush" - it feels SO good.
Oldyetsexy: I un-zip your tight-tight more...