Slurs Jokes

Santa and Banta are sitting in a bar getting pretty loaded. Suddenly, Banta throws up all over himself.
"Aw man, my wife is going to kill me when she sees this," he says.
Santa replies, "Don't worry about it. That happened to me before. Here's what you do. Put a 100 rupee note in your pants pocket. When you get home, tell your wife that some drunk threw up on you and he gave you Rs 100 to pay for the cleaning, OK?"
"All right, I'll try it."
So Banta goes home and his wife immediately starts bitching about his suit. "Now look what you've done to yourself!!"
"No, no, " Banta slurs back. "Some drunk guy puked on me, but he gave me this 100 rupee note to get my suit cleaned."
With that he reaches into his pocket and throws the money on the table.
Mrs. Banta looks at it and says, "I thought that you said he only gave you one 100 rupee note. How come there are two here?"
Banta slurs back, more...

This guy staggers into a bar and shouts, "A double whisky please barman, and a drink for everyone here… and while you`re at it, have one yourself." "Well thank you sir," says the barman and proceeds to pour everyone their drinks. Moments later the guy shouts, "Another whisky for me, and the same again for everyone else." The bartender looks a little worried now and says, "Excuse me sir, but don`t you think you should pay me for that last round first?" The guy slurs, "I can`t. I don`t have any money." With this the bartender flies into a rage and literally throws the guy out of the bar. About twenty minutes later though the guy staggers back in and shouts out, "A double whisky for me, and a drink for all my friends." "I suppose you`ll be offering me a drink too?" the barman asks, marvelling at the guy`s nerve. "Not likely," slurs the guy, "you get nasty when you`ve had a drink!"

This guy staggers into a bar and shouts, “A double whisky please barman, and a drink for everyone here… and while you’re at it, have one yourself. ”
“Well thank you sir, ” says the barman and proceeds to pour everyone their drinks.
Moments later the guy shouts, “Another whisky for me, and the same again for everyone else. ”
The bartender looks a little worried now and says, “Excuse me sir, but don’t you think you should pay me for that last round first? ”
The guy slurs, “I can’t. I don’t have any money. ” With this the bartender flies into a rage and literally throws the guy out of the bar.
About twenty minutes later though the guy staggers back in and shouts out, “A double whisky for me, and a drink for all my friends. ”
“I suppose you’ll be offering me a drink too? ” the barman asks, marvelling at the guy’s nerve.
“Not likely, ” slurs the guy, “you get nasty when you’ve had a drink! ”

This guy staggers into a bar and shouts, "A double whisky please barman, and a drink for everyone here… and while you're at it, have one yourself."
"Well thank you sir," says the barman and proceeds to pour everyone their drinks.
Moments later the guy shouts, "Another whisky for me, and the same again for everyone else."
The bartender looks a little worried now and says, "Excuse me sir, but don't you think you should pay me for that last round first?"
The guy slurs, "I can't. I don't have any money." With this the bartender flies into a rage and literally throws the guy out of the bar.
About twenty minutes later though the guy staggers back in and shouts out, "A double whisky for me, and a drink for all my friends."
"I suppose you'll be offering me a drink too?" the barman asks, marvelling at the guy's nerve.
"Not likely," slurs the guy, "you get nasty when you've more...