Smiles Jokes / Recent Jokes
When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.
An Italian man, relaxing at his favourite bar in Rome, managed to attract a spectacular young blonde woman.
He invited her back to his apartment, and after some small talk they made love.
After a pleasant interlude, and, at what seemed to him to be the appropriate time, he stretched, asked with a smile, "So... you finish?"
She paused for a second, frowned, and replied "No."
Pleasantly surprised, the young man reached for her and had his way with her again. This time she's wild, thrashing about on the bed and climaxing with screams of passion.
Again, the young man smiles, and asks, "You finish?"
And again, after a short pause, she returns his smile, cuddles closer to him, and says "No."
Stunned, but damned if this woman is going to outlast him, the young man reaches for his date. It takes all of his strength and he barely manages to do it, but they climax simultaneously, screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping bed more...
This guy walks into a bar, and sits down at the bar. There is a really good looking girl alone at the end of the bar. He catches her eye, and smiles at her. She gives him an icy stare in return.
A little while later he tries again, and is rebuked. He calls the bartender over. "Listen, I'd really like to meet that girl, can you help me".
Sure says the bartender, "have you ever heard of Jewish Fly".
"No, is it like Spanish Fly", replies the man.
"Much better than that." Says the bartender.
The bartender mixes the girl a drink, (with the Jewish fly of course) and gives it to her.
A little later she smiles at the man. After a few more minutes and she began to lick her lips suggestively.
The man walks over, sits down and says "May I get you another drink"
"No", she says in a deep sexy voice,
"But you can take me shopping"
Marriage is a three ring circus:
---engagement ring
---wedding ring
---suffering
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Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After
marriage, the "y" becomes silent.
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When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.
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My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got
two girlfriends.
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A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives.
In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."
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A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he more...
There was this guy walking down the road when he noticed a night clubahead. He went in, went up to the bar and asked for a drink. The bar owner, who was tending bar, said, "I've never seen you in her before."The guy says, "Yes, I'm not from around here. I'm just passing through on myway to find a job."The owner asks, "What do you do?"The guy says, "I write music and play the piano."The owner, looking excited says, "REALLY! I have an ad in the paper lookingforsomeone to play my piano. Please sit down at the keyboard and play for meif you're interested."The guy does and as he plays the piano the owner is in awe of his talentand musical abilities. The owner says, "You play the piano more beautifullythan anyone I have ever heard! What is the name of that song?"The guy says, "I wrote that song and the name is Two Lesbians Fucking TheirBrains Out."The owner gasps and is taken back. He says, "My gosh, that's a more...
A man is walking down the docks when he sees a quadriplegic woman crying in a corner. Trying to be a nice guy he walks up and asks her whats wrong.
"I've never been hugged." replies the woman
The man figures it would be a nice thing to do, so he picks her up and hugs her. She smiles. Then her face drops and she starts crying again.
"Whats the matter now?" asks the man.
"I've never been kissed..." says the woman.
The man leans down and kisses the woman on the lips for a brief moment. The woman smiles for a bit, then starts sobbing again.
The man a bit annoyed asks her again whats wrong.
The woman replies, "Because I dont have arms and legs I've never been screwed..."
The man picks up the woman and carriers her down the dock... then tosses her off the side of the dock into the water.
The man yells at the woman, "NOW YOU'RE SCREWED!"
There was this guy walking down the road when he noticed a night clubahead. He went in, went up to the bar and asked for a drink. The bar owner, who was tending bar, said, "I've never seen you in her before." The guy says, "Yes, I'm not from around here. I'm just passing through on myway to find a job." The owner asks, "What do you do?" The guy says, "I write music and play the piano." The owner, looking excited says, "REALLY! I have an ad in the paper lookingforsomeone to play my piano. Please sit down at the keyboard and play for meif you're interested." The guy does and as he plays the piano the owner is in awe of his talentand musical abilities. The owner says, "You play the piano more beautifullythan anyone I have ever heard! What is the name of that song?" The guy says, "I wrote that song and the name is Two Lesbians Fucking TheirBrains Out." The owner gasps and is taken back. He says, "My gosh, that's a more...