Smokers Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. If a small child is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down its throat and hey presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Weight watchers. Avoid that devilish temptation to nibble at a chocolate bar in the cupboard or fridge by not buying the thing in the first place, you fat barstools.

4. Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The morning after, you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble full of washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.

5. Recreate the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool in your home by filling the bath with cold water, adding two bottles of bleach, then urinating into it, before jumping in.

6. Don't buy expensive' ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip handful of frozen peas more...

Good News To All Smokers
The International Tabacco Syndicate, on its Golden Anniversary, wishes to invite Smokers of all ages to join in its biggest Anniversary Sweepstakes Draw, where every smoker is a sure winner! All smokers have the chance of winning the following major prizes.
Grand Prizes: A Brand New Cancer, Bronchial Infection, Goiter, Sinusitis, Migraine, Cerebral Tumor, Paralysis, Hypertension, and Asthma
Second Prizes: Special Hepatitis, Meningitis, Bronchitis
Third Prizes: Colored TB, Emphysema, Arteriosclerosis, Gingivitis, Rheumatism, Heart Disease, and Lung Cancer.
You can also have a chance to win consolation prizes such as: Tartar Deposits, Bad Breath, Stained Teeth, Appetite Loss, and Swelled Gums.
Join now!!! Remember that the more sticks you puff, the more chances of easy winning. Fabulous prizes await you!!! You can also be a lucky winner! Please claim your prizes at the nearest funeral parlor.
This promo is a limited offer... See your more...

Good News To All SmokersThe International Tabacco Syndicate, on its Golden Anniversary, wishes to invite Smokers of all ages to join in its biggest Anniversary Sweepstakes Draw, where every smoker is a sure winner! All smokers have the chance of winning the following major prizes.Grand Prizes: A Brand New Cancer, Bronchial Infection, Goiter, Sinusitis, Migraine, Cerebral Tumor, Paralysis, Hypertension, and AsthmaSecond Prizes: Special Hepatitis, Meningitis, BronchitisThird Prizes: Colored TB, Emphysema, Arteriosclerosis, Gingivitis, Rheumatism, Heart Disease, and Lung Cancer.You can also have a chance to win consolation prizes such as: Tartar Deposits, Bad Breath, Stained Teeth, Appetite Loss, and Swelled Gums.Join now!!! Remember that the more sticks you puff, the more chances of easy winning. Fabulous prizes await you!!! You can also be a lucky winner! Please claim your prizes at the nearest funeral parlor.This promo is a limited offer... See your X-Ray result for more details!!!

Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I’m a dustbin. Psychiatrist: Don’t talk such rubbish!
Be A Smoker!
Good News To All Smokers
The International Tabacco Syndicate, on its Golden Anniversary, wishes to invite Smokers of all ages to join in its biggest Anniversary Sweepstakes Draw, where every smoker is a sure winner! All smokers have the chance of winning the following major prizes.
Grand Prizes: A Brand New Cancer, Bronchial Infection, Goiter, Sinusitis, Migraine, Cerebral Tumor, Paralysis, Hypertension, and Asthma
Second Prizes: Special Hepatitis, Meningitis, Bronchitis
Third Prizes: Colored TB, Emphysema, Arteriosclerosis, Gingivitis, Rheumatism, Heart Disease, and Lung Cancer.
You can also have a chance to win consolation prizes such as: Tartar Deposits, Bad Breath, Stained Teeth, Appetite Loss, and Swelled Gums.
Join now!!! Remember that the more sticks you puff, the more chances of easy winning. Fabulous prizes await you!!! You can also more...