Sobbing Jokes / Recent Jokes

Herman the hypochondriac began sobbing before a doctor." I'm sure I've got a liver disease, and I'm gonna die from it." "Ridiculous," said the doctor. "you'd never know if you had thedisease or not. With that ailment there's no discomfort of anykind." "Right," said Herman, "those are my exact symptoms."

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. Her mother asked, "How was the honeymoon?"
"Oh, Mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..." Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, Mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language... things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home.... Please Mama!"
"Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?"
"Please don't make me tell you, Mama," wept the daughter. "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful! Come get me, please!"
"Darling, you must tell me what has you so upset.... Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"
Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, mama... words like DUST, WASH, IRON, more...

A young man was walking through the park when he noticed an old man sitting on a bench, sobbing. He approached the old man and asked what was wrong.
"I'm 89 years old and I'm in love with a 25 year old woman," the old man sobbed.
"That doesn't sound like something to be crying about," the young man replied.
"You just couldn't understand," the old man said between the sobs and the sniffles. "Each morning before she heads out to work, we make passionate love. She comes home at lunchtime, we make love again and then she fixes me my favorite meal. When she gets a break in the afternoon, she rushes home and we have the best sex an old man could ever want. Then, at dinner time and all through the night, we make love."
"I still don't understand," said the young man. "It sounds like the perfect relationship to me. Why are you crying?"
Still sobbing, the old man replied through his tears, "I can't remember more...

A wife woke of the middle of the night to find her husband missing from bed. She got out of bed and checked around the house. She heard sobbing from the basement.
After turning on the light and descending the stairs, she found he husband curled up into a little ball, sobbing.
"Honey, what's wrong?" she asked, worried about what could hurt him so much.
"Remember, 20 years ago, I got you pregnant? And your father threatened me to marry you or to go to jail?"
"Yes, of course," she replied.
"Well, I would have been released tonight."

3 men were sitting in a plane. They were talking about peace when the subject of weapons came up. They decided to never use weapons again to hurt anyone else.
The first man pulled out a heavy rock from under his seat and said, "I used to throw rocks like this at people I disliked. Now I know better," and with that he yanked open the emergency exit and tossed out the rock.
The second man pulled out a knife and decided he didn't want to harm anyone either, so he tossed it out the open door.
The third man gets up and opens the storage compartment and takes out a bomb. "Well, I always carry one of these around, I always wondered what it would be like to set it off. Now I know better," and he tosses it out the window.
The plane lands and the 3 men have to drive back in a rented car to their hotel.
On the way back they notice a small child sobbing on the street. They ask her what's wrong and she replies, "I was walking home and I saw this rock more...