Soccer Jokes / Recent Jokes
Cinderella Got Kiked off the Soccer Team Because
She Kept Running away from The Ball
It was a boring Sunday afternoon in the jungle so the Elephants decided to challenge the Ants to a game of soccer.
The game was going well with the Elephants beating the Ants ten goals to nil, when the Ants gained possession. The Ants' star player was dribbling the ball towards the Elephants' goal when the Elephants' left back came lumbering towards him. The elephant trod on the little ant, killing him instantly. The referee stopped the game.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?
Do you call that sportsmanship, killing another player?"
The elephant replied, "Well, I didn't mean to kill him - I was just trying to trip him up."
In an interview with Italian newspaper Gazzetta dello Sport, soccer player Marco Materazzi revealed the circumstances surrounding the infamous head-butt at this year's World Cup.
Apparently, after grabbing French player Zinedine Zidane's shirt, Zidane said to him, "If you want, I'll give you the jersey later." Materazzi then responded, "I would prefer your sister."
Now, what's so bad about saying you find someone's sister preferable to a sweaty jersey? It would have been a lot worse if he said, "Better that jersey than your sister." Or, how about, "The only thing I want less than that smelly, dirty jersey is your sister. Matter of fact, you could line a hamster cage with that jersey, and it would still be better than your nasty sister. You could roll that thing in horse manure and, ref, time out, I'm on a roll, you could roll that shirt in horse manure..."
It is the world cup qualifiers in 2006 Brazil vs Scotland Carlos says "We can't be bothered to play Scotland they are to easy".
"I'll take them on single handedly" Ronaldo said. "You go to the pub."
So later on they check the score Ronaldo 1 10: 00 mins
Scotland 0
Then they turn it of later on they say "the game should be finished check the score". Ronaldo 1 10: 00 mins
Scotland 1 89: 00 mins
Then Ronaldo comes down and says "I let you down" NO you didn't you got a draw Carlos said "No I did I got sent of in the 12th minute.
OLD SOCCER PLAYERS never die, they just achieve their final goalOLD SOCCER PLAYERS never die, they just lose their kickOLD SOLDIERS never die, they just fade awayOLD SOLDIERS never die, they just smell that wayOLD SOLDIERS never die, young ones doOLD SOURDOUGHS never die, they just ferment awayOLD SPELUNKERS never die, they just cave inOLD STEELMAKERS never die, they just lose their temperOLD STUDENTS never die, they just get degradedOLD SWIMMERS never die, they just fall off their blocksOLD SWIMMERS never die, they just have a strokeOLD SWIMMERS never die, they just kick-offOLD SYSTEM USERS never die, they just chdir to NULLOLD TANNERS never die, they just go into hidingOLD TAPE DISPENSERS never die, they just get used up