Soccer Jokes / Recent Jokes
A blonde began a job as an elementary school counsellor, and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer.
She approached and asked if he was alright. The boy said he was. A little while later however, she noticed the boy was in the same spot, still by himself.
Approaching again, the blonde said, "Would you like me to be your friend?"
The boy hesitated, then said, "Okay", looking at the woman suspiciously.
Feeling she was making progress, she then asked, "Why are you standing here all alone? Why don't you go and join those boys playing soccer over there?"
"Because," the little boy said with great exasperation, "I'm the goalie!"
There was a basketball player that played soccer but not basketball he hated basketball.So he told his coach that he was not going to play basketball anymore and that he is going to play soccer instead. So he asked the soccer coach if he could play soccer and he said yes so now he is playing basketball now.
PS: I didn't mess up on this it is a joke your not supposed to get because I am the one that wrote it and I don't even get myself.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
A teacher at a school for blind kids is taking his schools soccer team to an "away game". They stop for a rest break, and to let the kids work off some energy with a little impromptu practice in a nearby pasture. The teacher is sitting in a nearby diner, explaining to another patron how it is that blind kids can play soccer. "We made a special ball, with a bell in it, so the kids can keep track of where the ball is and what its doing by listening for it. Theyre pretty good at it too." "Very clever!" remarks the other patron. Just then they are interrupted as another patron, who is looking out the window, says, "Hey! Are you the guy with those damn blind kids from the bus?" "Yes," says the teacher, stung by the way "his" kids are being refered to, "what about it? You got something against blind kids?" "Nothing, ordinarily," says the guy, still scowling out the window, r "but you better get them rounded more...
America’s loss in the Ryder compliments their losses in the Davis Cup, the World Cup, the World Basketball Championships, the Olympics, and the dollar.
The last time the Americans won an international competition was the Persian Gulf.
French soccer star Zidane apologized for head-butting his opponent during the World Cup final. He then held up his thumbs to Italy and offered them as pacifiers.
Compiled by Harold Reynolds and updated on December 6, 1994
1. Introduction
The following is a manual of guidelines for the busy cat(s) who will have a house to manage after adopting one or more humans. It is, of course, impossible to cover all possible situations, as those humans are always up to some sort of mischief, but the compiler and contributors to this guide have endeavoured to cover as wide a variety of topics as possible. It is important that this document be kept out of the hands of humans, who will undoubtedly find a way to use it to their advantage.
2. Food
In order to get the energy to sleep, play, and hamper, a cat must eat. Eating, however, is only half the fun. The other half is getting the food. Cats have two ways to obtain food: convincing a human you are starving to death and must be fed now; and hunting for it oneself. The following are some guidelines for getting fed.
a) When the humans are eating, make sure more...