Socket Jokes / Recent Jokes
Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say.
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort.
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!
You can't say this?
What a shame sir.
We'll find you
another game sir!
If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on the mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side affects of Gauss,
So your icons in the windows are as wavy as a souse,
Then more...
Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say:
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!
You can't say this?
What a shame sir!
We'll find you
Another game sir.
If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then more...
Q: How many hunters does it take to screw a lightbulb into a left-handed socket?
A: There is no such thing as a left-handed socket, but if they could screw right they would not be hunters.
What if Dr. Seuss was a technical writer? Here are several examples of what he may write to help you resolve your computer problems.
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, And your data is corrupted `cause the index doesn`t hash, Then your situation`s hopeless, and your system`s gonna crash!
If the above doesn`t help with your computer troubles, perhaps this will.
If the label on the cable on the table at your house, Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol, That`s repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall.
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss So more...
You probably don't want to read this
This is taken from the latest edition of FHM. You may want to grit your teeth before you read it !!
When I was studying in Ireland, I took up rugby. As my first season wore on, the lads and I were eventually scheduled to play a team which had a reputation for violent play. Considering that we weren't the most talented outfit to have ever taken the field, we decided to accept the challenge with a "do or die" attitude, hoping things would eventually swing our way. They didn't and to make matters worse our star player dislocated his hip after a particularly ferocious tackle. He was clearly in a lot of pain, so we all stood back to which the medic who, in one swift movement, managed to slot the hip back into its socket . Then Alan began a long blood curdling scream. To our horror, we realised that one of his testicles had also been jammed into the socket and was now firmly held in the place by the hip. Incidentally, Alan managed to more...
Rules for Buying Gifts for Men
Rule #1:
When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.
Rule #2:
If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word
ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.
Rule #3:
If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.
Rule #4:
Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey more...
This is true story from the newspaper The Cape Times (South Africa):
"For several months, our nurses have been baffled to find a patient dead in the same bed every Friday morning" a spokeswoman for the Pelonomi Hospital (Free State, South Africa) told reporters.
"There was no apparent cause for any of the deaths, and extensive checks on the air conditioning system, and a search for possible bacterial infection, failed to reveal any clues." "However, further inquiries have now revealed the cause of these deaths...
"It seems that every Friday morning a cleaning lady would enter the ward, remove the plug that powered the patient's life support system, plug her floor polisher into the vacant socket, then go about her business. When she had finished her chores, she would plug the life support machine back in and leave, unaware that the patient was now dead. She could not, after all, hear the screams and eventual death rattle over the whirring of more...