Socrates Jokes / Recent Jokes

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? --Age 15 Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. --Age 13 It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday, like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for the long weekends. --Age 8 Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part about letting just any old yokel vote. --Age 10 Home is where the house is. --Age 6 I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween. --Age 13 I often wonder how come John Tesh isn't as popular a singer as some people think he should be. Then, I remember it's because he sucks. --Age 15 For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found more...

One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following "history" of the world from certfiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot.

The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.

The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked "Am I my more...

The following is a "history" collected by teachers throughout theUnited States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot.=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called mummies. Theylived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate ofthe Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, socertain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. TheEgyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the firstbook of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from anapple tree. On of their children, Cain, once asked, "Am I my brother'sson?" God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on Mount Montezuma. Jacob, son of Isaac, stole his brother's birth mark. Jacob was a patriarchwho brought up his twelve sons more...

To be is to do – Socrates, To do is to be – Sartre, Do be do be do – Sinatra

One day Socrates is walking down the road and sees his old friend Uripedes carrying a pair of pants.
Socrates says "Hi, Uripedes"
Uripidees says "I sure did, Usodes?"

The following is a "history" collected by teachers throughout theUnited States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot.=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called mummies. Theylived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate ofthe Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, socertain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. TheEgyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube.The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the firstbook of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from anapple tree. On of their children, Cain, once asked, "Am I my brother'sson?" God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on Mount Montezuma. Jacob, son of Isaac, stole his brother's birth mark. Jacob was a patriarchwho brought up his twelve sons more...

This is a compilation of actual student GCSE answers.
1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in
hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by
Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants
have to live elsewhere.
2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first
book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an
apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my
brother's son?"
3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made
unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients.
Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He
died before he ever reached Canada.
4. Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.
5. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them
we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a
female moth.
6. more...