Solution Jokes / Recent Jokes
That Scottish couple finally worked out a solution to the eternallove triangle.They ate the sheep.
A lady goes to her priest one day and says, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."
"What do they say?" the priest inquired.
"They say, `Hi, we`re hookers! Do you want to have some fun?`"
"That`s obscene!" the priest exclaimed, and then, he thought for a moment.
"You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we`ll put them in the cage with Frank and Jacob. My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying that horrible thing-in no time at all."
"Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution to my
problem."
The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest`s house. As more...
Silver Nitrate
(to the tune of "Silver Bells")
Silver nitrate, silver nitrate
it's chemistry time in the lab
Ding-a-ling, with a copper ring
soon it will be chemistry day.
Take your nitrate, in solution
Add your copper with style
In the beaker there's a feeling of reactions
silver forming, blue solution
Bringing ooh's ah's and wows
now the data procesing begins.
Get the mass, change to moles
what is the ratio with copper?
Write an equation, balance it
we're glad it's Chemistry Day.
When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer, provided of course you know that there is a problem.
Israel's economy is in a bad way, inflation is getting higher and immigrants are flooding in from all over the world. Problems, problems, problems, but what should they do? So the Knesset holds a special session to come up with a solution. After several hours of talk without progress one member, Yitzhak, stands up and says "Quiet everyone, I've got it, I've got the solution to all our problems. We'll declare war on the United States." Everyone starts shouting at once. "You're nuts! That's crazy!" "Hear me out!" says Yitzhak. "We declare war. We lose. The United States does what she always does when she defeats a country. She rebuilds everything; our highways, airports, shipping ports, schools, hospitals, factories, and loans us money, and sends us food aid. Our problems would be over. "Sure," says Benny, another minister, "that's if we lose. But what if we win?"
'We have two test tubes here,' said the professor of IVF studies from Monash University.
'They contain two carefully synthesised ingredients that we can now use to create human life. Solution A is a genitically engineered copy of all the ingredients in the female ovum, while Solution B replicates the active ingredients in male spermatozoa.
'If I mix them in this aseptic glass container a new human life will be conceived. Now any questions?'
'Could you possibly give us a demonstration?' asked an awed member of the audience.
'I'm sorry, not tonight,' said the professor,' Solution A has a headache.'
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.