Sour Jokes / Recent Jokes

Questions and answers selected from tests in Springdale, Arkansas in 2000 to 16 year old students! (Don't laugh too hard - one of these may be the president someday.)
Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: What is a planet? A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections? A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets a election.
Q: What are steroids? A: more...

Q: What is sour, yellow, and equivalent to the axiom of choice...
A: Zorn's lemon...

Yo mama like chinese food: sweet, sour and cheap!

A man's been drinking in the bar alone for three hours straight, and the bartender is getting worried about him. He's downing whiskey sour after whiskey sour.
Finally, after the man orders his twelfth whiskey sour, the bartender shakes his head and says, "Sir, I think you've had enough."
The drunk looks at the bartender closely and says, "Wha - wha's that you shay?"
The bartender swallows.
"I said, I think you've had enough sir."
The drunk points a finger....
"Lis - l-l-listen Jack, I been drrrrrinking for shirty-thix years and I have no idea when I've had enough... so h-how the h-hell should y-y-you?"

New KGB Borscht, by Chef V. Pootine 2 quarts beef stock
3 tablespoons butter
1 cup cabbage, finely chopped
1 cup potatoes, diced
1/2 cup carrots, diced
1 stalk celery, minced
1 onion, chopped
1 1/2 cups canned tomatoes
1/2 cup juice (from can of beets)
1 cup cooked or canned beets, diced
1 teaspoon vinegar
chopped dill or parsley (for garnishing)
dollop sour cream a pinch of radioactive isotope polonium-210 In a large heavy pan, melt butter and lightly sauté cabbage, potatoes, carrots, celery and onion for approximately 5 minutes. Add beef stock. Blend canned tomatoes or press through a sieve until fine. Add pureed tomatoes and beet juice to stock. Cover and simmer over low heat until vegetables are firmly tender but not soft. At this point, add the polonium-210, being careful not to get it on any exposed skin, as you will die. Season well with salt and pepper and serve with a dollop of sour cream to your least favorite person.