Spell Jokes / Recent Jokes
I have a spell checker It came with my PC It plane lee marks four my revue Miss steaks aye can knot see Eye ran this poem threw it Your sure real glad two no Its very polished in its own weigh My chequer tolled me sew A cheek or is a blessing It freeze yew lodes of thyme It helps me right awl stiles two reed And aides me when aye rime Now spilling does not phase me It does knot bring a tier My pay purrs awl due glad den With wrapped words fare as hear To rite with care is quite a feet Of witch won should be proud And wee mussed dew the best wee can Sew flaws are knot aloud So ewe can sea why aye dew prays Such soft wear four pea seas And why eye brake in two averse Buy righting want to please -Author Unknown
THREE people from different parts of the country passed away at the same time. They all went up to heaven and were met at the gate by Saint Peter. The first person was an architect. "I'd like to come in, please," he told the saint.
"All in good time," replied Saint Peter. "But first you have to pass one small test. You have to spell'God.' "
"Oh, that's easy. . . G-o-d," he said.
"Very good, very good," said Saint Peter. "Come on in."
The second person to approach was a rancher. "I'd sure like to enter," he said.
"All in good time," replied Saint Peter. "But first you have to pass a little test. All you have to do is spell'God.' "
"Simple," said the man. "G-o- d."
"Very good, you can come in."
Then the third person, an attractive businesswoman, approached.
"I'd like to enter, please."
"Well," said more...
A princess is walking along a pond in the royal gardens when she looks down and sees a really ugly frog.
Picking the frog up, she comments on the creature's rather hideous appearance.
Princess: "My, my, my... you are really an ugly frog!"
Frog: "I know, I know, I got a really bad spell on me."
Princess: "Well I've seen frogs with spells, but none as ugly as you."
Frog: "Look, leave me alone lady! I told you, it's a really bad spell."
Princess: "Well even so,... if I kiss you, then will you turn into a prince?"
Frog: "I don't know lady, a spell this bad will probably take a blow job!"
A woman found herself standing at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter greeted her and said, "These are the Gates to Heaven, my dear. But you must do one more thing before you can enter."
The woman was very excited, and asked of St. Peter what she must do.
"Spell a word," St. Peter replied.
"What word?" she asked.
"Any word," answered St. Peter. "It's your choice."
The woman promptly replied, "Then the word I will spell is love. L-O-V-E."
St. Peter welcomed her in, and asked her if she would mind taking his place at the gates for a few minutes while he took a break. So the woman is left sitting in St. Peter's chair when a man approaches the gates, and she realizes it is her husband.
"What happened?" she cried, "Why are you here?"
Her husband stared at her for a moment, then said, "I was so upset when I left your funeral, I got in an accident. Did I really make it to more...
It was general question time on the "Top of the World" quiz show and the host first asked the Hungarian contestant: "Complete this line of a song and spell your answer - Old MacDonald had a. ..." The Hungarian answered quickly: "Station - S T A T I O N." Next it was the Polish contestant who was asked the same question: "Old MacDonald had a. ..." "Ranch," was the reply, "R A N C H." Finally the Irishman was asked the same question: "Old MacDonald had a...." "Farm," the Irishman proudly stated. "Correct," said the host. "Now spell the word farm." The Irishman thought for a moment. "E I E I O."
UNIVERSITY ENTRANCE EXAM SEC FOOTBALL PLAYER VERSION (Time Limit: 3 Weeks)1. What language is spoken in France? 2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to: A. build a bridge (b) sail the ocean (c) lead an army or (d) WRITE A PLAY4. What religion is the Pope? (please check only one answer) A. Jewish (b) Catholic (c) Hindu (d) Polish (e) Agnostic5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0.0 meters? 6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5? 7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)8. What are people in America's far north called? A. Westerners(b) Southerners(c) Northerners9. Spell - Bush, Carter and Clinton10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being George the Sixth. Name the previous five.11. Where does rain come from? A. Macy's (b) a more...