Spell Jokes / Recent Jokes
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation.
The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but she listens in horror as one of the men says the following; "Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a more."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.
"In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, cool down lady," said the man. "Im just telling my friend how to spell Mississippi."
One day, a teacher was in her class teaching her lesson plan.
"
Now were going to go around the class, and say what one of our parents does, spell it, and say how they could help the class."
The teacher explained.
"
Yes Suzy, go ahead."
"
My dad is a baker. B-A-K-E-R. He could help us out by making us cookies!."
"
Very good Suzy."
"
Ok, go ahead John."
"
My daddy is a doctor, D-O-C-T-O-R. If we get hurt, he can help us."
"
Very good John."
"
Go Ahead Tyrome."
"
MMMM... K. My Daddy is an electisian. E-L-C NO, NO WAIT. E-L-E-K NO I MEAN... E-L-L, I mean ummmmm."
"
That's ok, we'll come back to you Tyrome."
"
Go ahead Tony."
"
My dads a bookie. B-O-O-K-I... "
"
WOH WOH WOH, TONY, how could that help the class?
"
He'll give you ten to one odds more...
An American. an Englishman and a Chinese man were all taking part in a quiz contest. One question asked them was to fill in a blank in a song title and then spell the word. The song title was 'Old Macdonald had a -'.
The American was first to answer - he said 'ranch', spelt R-A-N-C-H.
"Wrong" said the quiz master.
The Englishman answered next - he said 'estate', spelt E-S-T-A-T-E.
"Wrong" said the quiz master.
Then the Chinese man answered - he said 'farm'.
"Please spell it" said the quiz master.
"E - I - E - I - O"
Once upon a time, there was a prince who was under a terrible spell. He could only say one word per year.
Then one day, he saw a beautiful princess. He fell in love with her. He vowed to ask her hand in marriage. However, because of the spell, he had to wait for 7 whole years to propose.
On the starting of the 8th year, the prince went to the princess' castle. Knelt down in front of her and said, "I love you, will you marry me?"
The princess tossed her enchanting golden hair, straightened her crown, parted her cherry-red lovely lips and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't hear that. What did you say?"
TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile"?
JOHN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L."
TEACHER: No, that's wrong.
JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
(With apologies to Country Joe McDonald,
who had nothing to do with this parody.)
Gimme a Y!
Y!
Gimme a 2!
2!
Gimme a K!
K!
What's that spell?
Y2K!
What's that spell?
Y2K!
What's that spell?
Y2K!
Yeah, come on all of you, big strong nerds,
Uncle Sam's laid a bunch of turds.
He's got himself in a terrible place
Way down yonder in cyberspace
So put down your books and pick up a mouse,
We're gonna fix this whole damn house.
And it's one, two, three,
What are we coding for?
< Yippiee! >
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Next stop is on the LAN;
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up for William Gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why,
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.