Spell Jokes / Recent Jokes
Mrs. Jones was reading a letter at breakfast. Suddenly she looked up suspiciously at her husband."Henry," she said, "I've just received a letter from mother saying she isn't accepting our invitation to come and stay, as we do not appear to want her. What does she mean by that? I told you to write and say that she was to come at her own convenience. You did write, didn't you?""Er, yes, I did," said the husband. "But I, I couldn't spell' convenience,' so I made it' risk.'"
Name:_________
1. Finish this pattern: a, _, c, d, e, f (hint, B)
2. If you are standing, what are you doing? (hint, standing)
3. Finish the sentence: I am a blond______
4. Explain Einstein's theory, or spell cat
5. Are you writing with a pen/pencil or a tissue? (hint pen/pencil)
6. Spell the word chicken
It's career day at school and the teacher instructs his students each to stand up, state their parents occupation, spell it and then tell what their parent would do if they were here today.
Little Rodney stands up and says, "My father is an accountant, A-C-C-O-U-N-T-A-N-T, and if he were here today, he would help you balance your checkbook".
"Good Rodney" says the teacher, "how about you, Jimmy?'"
Jimmy stands up and stammers, "My father is an electrician, E-L-E-K-T, no, no, E-L-E-C-K-T no... L-E-C-K-... no..."
The teacher interrupts, "Never mind Jimmy, sit down, how about you Johnny?"
Johnny stands up and says, "My dad's a bookie, that's B-O-O-K-I-E, and if he were here today he'd give you ten to one odds that there's no way Jimmy's ever gonna spell electrician!"
First witch: Heres a banana if you can spell it. Second witch: I can spell banana. I just dont know when to stop.
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
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TEACHER: more...
1. Bicycle handle grips.
2. French tickler animals.
3. Shower caps for people with tiny heads.
4. Put one on a light bulb for mood lighting.
5. Fill one with helium and tie a note to it.
6. Get 1000 and make a submarine.
7. Put one over the showerhead to surprise Dad.
8. Put 'em on your cat's feet to keep it from climbing the curtains.
9. Blow a bunch up and tie them to the cars outside a wedding.
10. Put one on your nose and be Bobo the clown.
11. Water wings for those non-swimmers.
12. Use 500 of them to spell out "We Want Women!!" on your house.
13. Jello molds.
14. Finger puppets.
15. A wind sock.
16. Use as a bobber when fishing.
17. Put them on soda cans to keep the fizz in when you're not drinking it.
18. Practical joke: Put one on an exhaust pipe.
19. Suspenders.
20. Recycle as a Burger King ketchup baggie. (or would mayonnaise be better?)
21. Small animal muzzle.
22. Put them on your more...
Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs? A1: Because they can spell it. A2: Because they can spell BWM.