"50 Other Uses For Condoms" joke
1. Bicycle handle grips.
2. French tickler animals.
3. Shower caps for people with tiny heads.
4. Put one on a light bulb for mood lighting.
5. Fill one with helium and tie a note to it.
6. Get 1000 and make a submarine.
7. Put one over the showerhead to surprise Dad.
8. Put 'em on your cat's feet to keep it from climbing the curtains.
9. Blow a bunch up and tie them to the cars outside a wedding.
10. Put one on your nose and be Bobo the clown.
11. Water wings for those non-swimmers.
12. Use 500 of them to spell out "We Want Women!!" on your house.
13. Jello molds.
14. Finger puppets.
15. A wind sock.
16. Use as a bobber when fishing.
17. Put them on soda cans to keep the fizz in when you're not drinking it.
18. Practical joke: Put one on an exhaust pipe.
19. Suspenders.
20. Recycle as a Burger King ketchup baggie. (or would mayonnaise be better?)
21. Small animal muzzle.
22. Put them on your fingers & play proctologist.
23. Put them on your toes to make swim fins.
24. Draw eyeballs on them and make funny glasses.
25. Automatic door closing devices.
26. Have 'water' balloon fights.
27. Glue a bunch together and use to replace silicon breast implants.
28. Freeze them for an all-natural Popsicle.
29. Glue several together and sell as a "Stretch Man" toy.
30. Use for a Xmas stocking for those times when coal doesn't tell 'em just how bad they screwed up this year.
31. Ear/nose plugs.
32. Use 365 of them to make into a tire, and call it a "Good Year."
33. Replace those old "Dr. Scholls" shoe cushions.
34. Feed them to your pet iguana, Clyde.
35. Paint scales on them & put them in a fish tank.
36. "I challenge you to a duel!"
37. Drain plugs.
38. Put them in with your tax return.
39. Go see "Saturday Night Fever" and throw them at the screen.
40. Punching bags.
41. Hang them on the blades of a ceiling fan.
42. Send 50 of them to your ex-girlfriend.
43. Novelty key rings.
44. Hang them all around your windshield and be a Chicano.
45. Spell "Happy Birthday" on a cake.
46. Break out your paints and make wax fruit.
47. Put them on your nipples and try to swing them in opposite directions.
48. Make a "water" bed.
49. Put your money in one. Nobody will steal it!
50. Stick one on the bridge of your nose and run around saying "Gobble Gobble."
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