Spell Jokes / Recent Jokes

To make this work, do this as fast as you can and don't cheat!
Spell Fort 5 times
Say Fort 4 times
Spell Fort 4 times
Say Sort 3 times
Spell Fort two times
Say Fort once
Quick!...What do you eat cereal with? (Scroll Down)
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You're pretty weird...most people use a Spoon! :)

Owed Two A Spell Chequer:

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

To make this work, do this as fast as you can and don't cheat!
Spell Fort 5 times
Say Fort 4 times
Spell Fort 4 times
Say Fort 3 times
Spell Fort two times
Say Fort once
Quick!...What do you eat cereal with? (Scroll Down)
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
You're pretty weird...most people use a spoon! :)

ODE TO A SPELL CHECKER by Jerrold H ZarI have a spelling checker. It came with my PC. It plane lee marks four my revue Miss steaks aye can knot sea. Eye ran this poem threw it, Your sure reel glad two no. Its vary polished in it's weigh. My checker tolled me sew. A checker is a bless sing. It freeze yew lodes of thyme. It helps me right awl stiles two reed, And aides me when aye rime. Each frays come posed up on my screen Eye trussed too be a joule. The checker pours o'er every word To cheque sum spelling rule. Bee fore a veiling checker's Hour spelling mite decline, And if we're lacks oar have a laps, We wood bee maid to wine. Butt now bee cause my spelling Is checked with such grate flare, Their are know fault's with in my cite, Of nun eye am a wear. Now spelling does knot phase me, it does knot bring a tier. My pay purrs awl due glad den With wrapped word's fare as hear. To rite with care is quite a feet Of witch won should bee proud, And wee mussed dew the best wee can, Sew flaw's more...

Hear about the Pole who couldn't spell?
He spent the night in a wherehouse.

* Lerman's Law of Technology: Any technical problem can be overcome given enough time and money. Corollary: You are never given enough time or money.
* Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.
* Law of the Search: The first place to look for anything is the last place you would expect to find it. Corollary: It will not be in the last place you expect to find it.
* Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.
* The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.
* Miller's Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens.
* First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you'll want to be doing more...

Yesterday I couldn't spell engineer. Now I are one.