Spell Jokes / Recent Jokes
ttle Johnny was in class and the teacher announced that they were going to try something different to help everyone get to know each other a little better, and to help with their spelling. She explained, "I want you to stand up and give us the occupation of your father, spell it, and say one thing he would give us all if he was here today." The first student raised her hand to volunteer. "Marcy," the teacher said. "You may go first." Marcy replied, "My father is a banker. B-A-N-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us all a shiny new penny." The teacher said, "Very nice, Marcy, who wants to go next?" Kevin stood up and announced, "My father is a baker. B-A-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us all a freshly-baked cookie." "Very good," the teacher told Kevin. Jeff was next, and he said, "My father is an accountant. A-K, no wait, A-C-K, no..." n Before he could attempt to spell it once more...
How can you spell too much with two letters? XS (excess).
A man approaches an ice cream van and asks, "I'd like two scoops of chocolate ice cream, please."
The girl behind the counter replied, "I'm very sorry, sir, but our delivery didn't come this morning. We're out of chocolate."
"In that case," the man continued, "I'll have two scoops of chocolate ice cream."
"You don't understand, sir," the girl says. "We have no chocolate."
"Then just give me some chocolate," he insists.
Getting angrier by the second, the girl asked, "Sir, will you spell' van,' as in' vanilla?'"
The man spells, "V A N."
"Now spell' straw,' as in' strawberry.'"
"OK. S-T-R-A-W."
"Now," the girl asked, "spell' stink,' as in chocolate."
The man hesitates, then confused, replied, "There is no stink in chocolate."
"That's what I've been trying to tell you!" she screams.
It's getting close to going home time at the infants school. Teacher is chatting to the kids.
Teacher: Johnny, what did you do today?
Johnny: I played in the sand pit, miss.
Teacher: That's very good. I'll let you go a bit early, if you can spell' pit'.
Johnny: P-I-T, miss.
Teacher: Very good, off you go. Mary, what did you do today?
Mary: I played in the sand with Johnny, miss.
Teacher: I'll let you go if you can spell' sand'.
Mary: S-A-N-D, miss.
Teacher: Well done, off you go. What about you Leroy?
Leroy: Johnny and Mary wouldn't let me play in the sand pit, miss. I think it's blatent racial discrimination.
Teacher: Well, if you can spell' racial discrimination...'