Sperm Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: Why are married women heavier than single women?
A: Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
Q: How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A: Both of them.
Q: Why did the man cross the road?
A: He heard the chicken was a slut.
Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A: They don't have time.
Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm cells to fertilize one egg?
A: They won't stop to ask directions.
Q: What do men and sperm have in common?
A: They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
Q: How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of beer.
Q: What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A: The bonds mature.
Q: Why are blonde jokes so short?
A: So men can remember them.
Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of more...

At a Texas University, a Professor had been teaching his students human reproduction. For an exam, one of the questions was: "Female humans are born with a limited number of eggs, while males, during their lifetime, produce millions upon millions of sperm. Why are so many sperm produced?" One young woman's answer: "Because they won't ask for directions either."

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A professor at Ball State University in Muncie, Ind., was telling his students that they would be responsible for reading 5 books, and he would provide them with a list of authors from which they could choose. He ambled over to the lectern, took out his class book and began, "Baker, Black, Brooks, Carter, Cook......" One student was working fervishly to get down the names, when he felt a tap on his shoulder. The student behind him whispered, "He's taking attendance."

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Q: Why are married women heavier than single women? A: Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.Q: How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? A: Both of them.Q: Why did the man cross the road? A: He heard the chicken was a slut.Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay? A: They don't have time.Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm cells to fertilize one egg? A: They won't stop to ask directions.Q: What do men and sperm have in common? A: They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.Q: How does a man show that he is planning for the future? A: He buys two cases of beer.Q: What is the difference between men and government bonds? A: The bonds mature.Q: Why are blonde jokes so short? A: So men can remember them.Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? A: We don't know; it has never happened.Q: Why is it difficult to find more...

An 80-year old couple decided they wanted to have one more child. The wife suggested they discuss this with their doctor, so they visited with her.

Their doctor first suggested that the man have a sperm count check to see if he had enough ammunition. She gave the old man a jar and said "Take this in that room and provide me with a sperm specimen."

After 30 minutes of grunting, groaning, and screaming behind the door, the old man appeared, obviously disheveled. "Doctor, can I bring my wife in with me?" he asked.

"Sure, whatever helps!" the doctor replied.

The old man's wife entered the room with the old man, and closed the door. Sure enough; another 30 minutes of grunting, groaning and screaming ensued. Then the couple opened the door and stepped out of the room, sweat beading on their foreheads, their clothes wrinkled and obviously frustrated... The old man handed the jar to the doctor.

The doctor more...

Why is a sperm whale called a sperm whale?
Because a ''seaman'' discovered it.

What have a condom and a coffin got in common?
They both hold stiffs, but one is cumin and one is going!
When is a man most intelligent, before, after or during sex?
During sex, cuz he's plugged up to the knowledge source=:)
Sex is like math.
Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray you don't multiply!
Sex is like a misdameanor, the more I miss it, da meaner I get.
How do you know if you have a high sperm count?
If she has to chew before she can swallow.
Two potatos are standing on a corner, how can you tell which one is a prostitute?
The one that says IDAHO!
How can you tell which is the head nurse?
She's the one with the dirty knees.
Have you noticed that more and more women are having their navels pierced?
That's because it's a handy place to hang the air freshener.
How do you make your girlfriend cry while having sex?
Phone her!
What do you call a woman with two brain more...

So one sperm says to the other "When do we get to the ovaries?"The other replies "Ovaries! We're not even past the throat yet!"