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Dear Contributor:
The "NBA Player Adoption Program" desperately needs your charitable assistance. With an NBA player's strike against the team owners, now is the time for us to show the world just how much we really care. What those men are forced to endure -- it's just not right!
Hundreds of basketball players in our very own country are living at or just below the NBA seven-figure salary poverty line. And as if that weren't bad enough, they will be deprived of pay for several weeks-possibly a whole year!
But now you can help!
For only about $2,000.00 a day -- that's less than the cost of a large screen projection TV -- you can help keep an impoverished basketball player economically viable during his time of need.
$2,000.00 a day may not seem like a lot of money to you, but to an NBA basketball player it could mean the difference between a vacation spent golfing in bug-infested Florida or a life-renewing Mediterranean cruise.
For you, more...

The UN sponsored a competition on which nation can produce the best bookon elephants. The British submited a dry historical account "The Elephant and the British Empire."The French submited a text "The Sensuality of the Elephant -- a Personal Account."The Germans submited 47 Volumes entitled "An Elementary Introduction to the Foundation of the Science of the Elephant's Ear."The Americans submited an article from "Money" magazine: "Elephants -- the Perfect Tax Shelter for the 80s"Green-Peace submited a counter-entry "Elephants -- they're better than People"The Russians submited a terse manuscript titled "The superiority of the Soviet Elephant"And submited a poem "The Joy and Freedom Brought forth by the Soviet Elephant."But the Japanese won with their Promotional Flier "We have no Elephants but wouldn't you want to buy a Honda instead"

The UN sponsored a competition on which nation can produce the best book on elephants.
The British submited a dry historical account "The Elephant and the British Empire."
The French submited a text "The Sensuality of the Elephant - a Personal Account."
The Germans submited 47 Volumes entitled "An Elementary Introduction to the Foundation of the Science of the Elephant's Ear."
The Americans submited an article from "Money" magazine: "Elephants - the Perfect Tax Shelter for the 80s"
Green-Peace submited a counter-entry "Elephants - they're better than People"
The Russians submited a terse manuscript titled "The superiority of the Soviet Elephant"
And submited a poem "The Joy and Freedom Brought forth by the Soviet Elephant."
But the Japanese won with their Promotional Flier "We have no Elephants but wouldn't you want to buy a Honda instead"

I personally have never taken seriously a college dropout who wandered
america in search of a job until he became the prophet of the angry right.
But anyway, I was thinking. ( a dangerous activity)
What is the difference between Rush Limbaugh and a TV Wrestler?
Consider:
TV Wrestler Rush
Male As far as we know.
White (usually) As far as we know.
Fat Definitely
Wears tight suits Yep.
Roars to adoring crowds. UnHuh.
Sponsored by obscure Sponsored by chain of
companies. Tall and Fat Stores.
Always on TV. yep.
Usually on Obscure yep.
Stations.
Appeals to bizarre Probably.
audience segment.
Doesn't seem to accom-
plish much but make money. yep.
Engages in low brow stunts. Yep.
Entertains more then informs. yep.
Well, I guess if he wants to the WWF always has room for him.
Maybe he could become a conservative TV Wrestler. "Loud Man."
he would wear a black and white suit and shout at all more...