Stall Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Scene: The Girl is a 23 year old investment banker working in New York. The Boy is doing his residency in Boston and was given her number by his mother, who is a friend of the Girl's aunt's brother-in-law's cousin's uncle's wife in Chicago.

Monday night, 10 pm

Girl: Hello?

Boy: (Shit, she's home!) Umm, hi! Is this ---?

Girl: Speaking.

Boy: My name is ---. I don't know if you know who I am- (God, what if she doesn't know who I am? I'll sound like a complete idiot.) Hell, I already sound like a complete idiot. I don't even know why I'm doing this!)

Girl: Oh, you live in Boston, right?

Boy: Yeah. (Ok, she was told about me, that's a fucking relief. I wonder what she was told - "He's a resident, tall, and fair, and he graduated from Ivy League school!" God, she probably hates me already!)

Girl: Yeah, my mother mentioned you had my number. (I can't believe he actually more...

A man and wife are in the livestock section at the county fair.
They happen upon a stall, where there is a large bull.
Upon reading the sign posted by the stall, the wife exclaims:
"Look here dear! It says this bull mated 365 times last year! That's once per day! I think you need to take some lessons from this bull."
To which her husband replied: "Go ask the farmer if all 365 times were with the same cow."

Chee Soon Juan - Did I say that the chicken crossed the road? I meant the chicken-rice stall across the road, but left out some letters because of typo. SDP vice-chairman - wo ting bu dong ni jiang shen me. (I don't know what you are saying). Ling How Doong - don't talk cock. Worker's Party - The PAP doesn't allow chickens to cross the road. Chiam See Tong - The opposition must be loyal to Singapore. Don't eat Hainanese chicken rice. Eat Singapore noodles. Ling How Doong - don't talk cock. Chee Soon Juan - Did I say eat Hainanese chicken rice? I said CONSUME chicken rice at the stall across the road. PAP - There is no chicken rice stall across the road. Worker's Party - That is not true. The PAP just doesn't want chickens to cross the road. Chiam See Tong - We must always stay on this side of the road and remain true Singaporeans. Ling How Doong - don't talk cock. Chee Soon Juan - Did I say consume chicken rice across the road? I said eat chicken rice OPPOSITE the road. PAP - You said more...

I was traveling down the interstate when I had to make a pit stop at a rest stop. The first toilet stall was occupied, so I went into the second one.
I was no sooner seated than I heard a voice from the next stall say, "Hi, how are you doing?"
Well, I am not the type to chat with strangers and especially under those conditions. .. and I really don't know quite what possessed me, but I answered, "Not bad."
And the stranger said, "And, what are you up to?"
Talk about your dumb questions! I was really beginning to think this was too weird! So I said, "Well, just like you I am driving South"
Then, I heard the stranger get all upset and say, "Look, I'll call you right back, there is some idiot in the next stall answering all the questions I am asking you. Bye!"

Thing to do in the bathroom stall...
Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn`t put my lips on that."

Thing to do in the bathroom stall...
Say, "Hmmm, I`ve never seen that color before."

Thing to do in the bathroom stall...
Drop a marble and say, "oh shoot!! My glass eye!!"