Stanley Jokes / Recent Jokes

It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at centre ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there.

"No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?"

The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head "No. They're all at the funeral."

Stanley got a job painting the yellow stripes on the highway. His first day he dipped his brush into the bucket and managed to paint an entire mile of yellow lines. The second day he painted half a mile. The rthird day a quarter of a mile.

On the fourth day Stanley's boss showed up and asked, "How come each day you seem to paint less and less?"

"Well, sir," explained Stanley, "that's because each day I get farther and farther away from the bucket."

Andrew came to work one day, limping something awful. One of his co-workers, Justin, noticed his condition and asked Andy what happened.
Andy replied, “Oh, nothing, really. It’s just an old hockey injury that acts up once in a while. ”
Justin remarked, “Gee, I never even knew that you played hockey. ”
“No, Justin, I don’t, ” replied Andy. “I hurt my leg last year when I lost $500 on the Stanley Cup play-offs - I put my foot through the television set. ”

After WWII, two Poles returned to their destroyed village to locate the first one's wife. Going through the rubble, Victor came across a dismembered arm and called over, "Hey, Stanley, wasn't this Anya's arm? I think this is the wristwatch you gave her."
"I dunno, Victor," said Stanley, and they continued the search.
A little while later, Victor came across a severed leg.
"Stanley, couldn't this be part of Anya? She had great legs." Stanley shrugged and they walked on.
Finally the energetic Victor came across a woman's head, which he held out at arm's length for his friend's inspection.
"Nope," said Stanley at last. "Anya was a lot taller."

After WWII, two Poles returned to their destroyed village to locate the first one's wife. Going through the rubble, Victor came across a dismembered arm and called over, "Hey, Stanley, wasn't this Anya's arm? I think this is the wristwatch you gave her.""I dunno, Victor," said Stanley, and they continued the search.A little while later, Victor came across a severed leg."Stanley, couldn't this be part of Anya? She had great legs." Stanley shrugged and they walked on.Finally the energetic Victor came across a woman's head, which he held out at arm's length for his friend's inspection."Nope," said Stanley at last. "Anya was a lot taller."