Starr Jokes / Recent Jokes
Mr. Starr:
I am Starr, Star I are.
I'm a brilliant barri-star.
I'm here to ask, as you'll soon see,
Did you grope Miss Lew-in-ski?
Did you grope her in your house?
Did you grope beneath her blouse?
Did she give you gifts and ties?
Were you spied by prying eyes?
Mr. Clinton:
I did not do that here or there!
I did not do that anywhere!
I did not do that in a chair!
I went not near her giant hair!
I did not join - even for fun -
The Mile High Club in Air Force One.
So stow your feathers and your tar.
I did not do her, Starr you are!
Mr. Starr:
Did you smile? Did you flirt?
Did you peek beneath her skirt?
And did you tell the girl to lie
When called upon to testify?
Mr. Clinton:
That is it; you've gone too far!
I do not like you, Starr you are!
I will not answer any more;
In fact, I think I'll start a war!
The public's easy to distract,
When bombs are falling on more...
Excerpt from Kenneth Starr's cross examination of President Clinton.
Starr: Now you told us earlier that you spent a lot of money on a face
lift for Ms. Lewinski. Would you like to clarify just how much money you
spent?
Clinton: No, no, no. What I said was, "I blew a wad on her
face."
Questions Ken Starr Has for the President
"Let's speed this up-who *haven't* you nailed?"
"Aha! So you admit you've had sex!!! What's it like?
Is it fun?"
"Can I have some of those fries?"
"Do you admit my getting Dan Rather to talk about your semen was pretty
cool?"
"Would you *please* stop winking at the court reporter?!"
"Mr. President, how does it feel to be on the receiving
end of a probe for a change?"
"Okay, exhibit 25-A is yet *ANOTHER* ink blot. Now, does
THIS one remind you of anything besides a breast?"
"Is it just my imagination, or are all of the women you
know butt-ugly?"
"Are you now, or have you ever been, in a non-erect state?"
"Mr. President, did you bring any pants with you?"